Growing Up Eyerman

easter

2011-04-29T16:39:00.014-04:00

easter marked the last "first" holiday we are going to have as a family with veronica and henry. tomorrow, it will be a year that little miss v came home forever!

we had an absolutely perfect easter. we did all the fun things leading up to sunday....

egg dying

easter egg hunts

andrew had his easter celebration at mops and made this beautiful cross

and tj made this at church. can you see what it says?

the boys had spring parties at school. they made bunnies and eggs. they did crafts and ate candy. and all of it was a lot of fun.

but, i am also so glad that they know the true meaning of why easter is so important. when we asked tj why we celebrate easter, this was his answer....

"on the friday before easter, jesus died on the cross. and on easter he came out of his grave and now he is alive. jesus did that for us. yay"
(i actually had him type that, with a little grammar help from me.)

tj's answer is so simple. he doesn't questions anything. he just accepts god's love and sacrifice for us. amazing.

easter morning greeted the kids with baskets. i love seeing all five baskets lined up with their names on them.

i'm not going to lie, i loved getting veronica dressed up. keith bought her her dress :)

and, of course, the boys were in their easter best too.

we went to church, we had an easter egg hunt at home, and we had dinner with our family. we even did a little playing in the sprinkler and lounging around outside.

perfect day.

in your eyes

2011-04-05T11:03:00.008-04:00

i'm not sure how it happened, but we have five children with five different color eyes.

from lightest eyes to darkest....

#3 and #4 are closest. it was hard to capture the true color of #3. they are actually more green than the picture shows.

can you guess who is who? it's actually pretty easy :)

the biggest turns 7!

2011-04-02T16:50:00.008-04:00

so. i'm a little late on this post, but my big man still deserves some celebrating.

TJ just celebrated his 7th birthday!! (i sorta can't believe i have been a mom for that long!)

i LOVE birthdays! i love making my child feel really special. so, we did just that for tj's birthday.

we started off the festivities with a birthday party at a local ice cream shoppe for his friends from school. they had a blast!

on the day of his actual birthday, right after he woke up, and ate the breakfast that he requested (porkroll, egg and cheese on a bagel....yes we ARE from NJ!) we blindfolded him and took him outside to get his gift.....

a GO KART! i'm not sure who is more excited about it, keith or tj. although, tj was pretty pumped. his first words.....when i saw that in the driveway a few days ago, i thought it was for uncle matt!!

next, it was off to school with some treats for his class...

after school, a favorite friend came over to play and stay for dinner. as requested by the birthday child, we had bbq chicken, "vegetables on the stick", and hot dogs for his friend. only tj would ask for veggies for his birthday dinner. when he went out for dinner with mimi for his birthday, he requested salad works! he did the same when gramps took him out to dinner. no wonder he's so skinny!

amia and pop pop stopped by (all the way from florida i might add) for some birthday cake.

i think tj had a really great seventh birthday! i am so glad. he deserves to be celebrated. he is such a great kid. i know every mom says that about her children, but i really am just so proud of tj. he is such a fantastic big brother, he is kind and compassionate, he is curious and eager to learn, he is super sweet (especially to me),he's confident, and he is faithful and loves jesus.

i love my biggest to pieces. and, tj will always have a special part of my heart because it is he who first made me a mom.

this is what happens....

2011-03-16T19:34:00.001-04:00

when i let the laundry go a little too long.

half of my life

2011-03-06T20:46:00.006-05:00

16 years ago today, keith and i started dating. it may seem like a lot to some. it may seem like a little to others. but, for us it's a big deal. because today is the day that marks exactly half of my life spent "dating" keith.

one. half. of. my. life!

i can still remember so clearly the day that keith "asked me out". i was 16 years old, keith 17. we were driving home from our friend jessica's house. he was dropping me off in his 1968, army green colored corvair. i had to be home early because i was helping my grandmother babysit my little sister, katie. she was actually really little at this piont. only 5! we were sitting in my driveway and keith said, "will you go out with me?" i mean, that's what you said when i was in high school. that's how you determined if you were going to be girlfriend and boyfriend.

i liked keith a lot. but i also had a bunch of boys that had been pretty mean to me right before this. so, i said......"maybe. can i think about it?"

i know. it's not like it was a marriage proposal. and i was only 16. but, i was nervous.

keith called me 30 minutes later. i was laying with katie in her bed getting her to sleep.
"did you decide yet?"
"no, not yet."
(something keith will NEVER let me live down!)

i let him wait three days. yup. three days. i know. i was mean.

monday night came and i called him on the phone. i told him that i thought we should start dating. he already knew i was going to say yes.

we dated the remaining year and a half of high school. we dated all through college (separate colleges) . and we got engaged a year after we graduated.

saying "yes" to keith was the best decision i ever made. i'm not saying there hasn't been bad times or hard times. but through it all, keith has been my best friend, my biggest fan, and my most loyal supporter.

i am so thankful for him and so grateful that he put this amazing man in my life.

it's not much.....

2011-03-02T15:32:00.007-05:00

...but it is definitely something!

little miss V is sporting her very first ponytail today!

it has taken a long time to get to this point. when we first met our little gal she had almost no hair at all.

(pictures taken a year ago today)

a year later, we can just put it in a little ity-bity ponytail.

i think she liked it....

our meetcha day....one year anniversary

2011-02-24T08:17:00.000-05:00

there are a lot of days to celebrate with adoption....the day the court grants the adoption, the day the appeal period is over, the day you bust your child out of the baby house, the day your child comes home forever. but for me, one of the most special is the day i meet my daughter.

in a lot of ways, it is like when you see your child for the first time after they have been born. the moment i met veronica will always be such a vivid memory. i can still feel the anticipation of waiting in the directors office. i can still feel my stomach do flips when i saw only her little shoes and bright blue tights in the reflection of a mirror. i can still feel the tears welling in my eyes when i saw her sweet face and they handed her to me. i remember them telling me her name and thinking...that is a perfect name. i don't think i stopped smiling the entire time.

that was the moment i met my daughter. my beautiful, tiny, blonde haired daughter. i didn't realize how much i could possibly love this little girl.

do you remember this little face?

oh, how far we have come in a year.

today we will celebrate the day we met miss v. we will look at pictures, read our past blog posts, eat some cake (not anything nearly as good as the desserts in the bakery in ust), and, of course, she will wear some ust-kam tights!

one year ago today, my life changed forever.

the day our journey began.......

2011-02-22T12:35:00.005-05:00

today marks the one year anniversary that keith and i left the boys for four weeks to travel half way around the world to meet our daughter.

i remember that day as one of the hardest days of my entire life. saying good-bye to tj, andrew and ryan was so incredibly hard. the memory is still so vivd that i get tears in my eyes thinking about it. looking back, i can hardly believe i did it. but, at the same time, i can't imagine my life without having done it either. i cried a lot of that day. i prayed a lot too. i was also so incredibly excited for what was to come in the following couple of days.

the next two days consisted of meeting our dear friends jennifer and mike, 40 something hours of travel, three planes, delays, exhaustion, anxiety, freezing cold temperatures, funny moments. it seems like a lifetime ago.

as i sit here in the living room, watching veronica play, it seems like she has always been here. i am thankful that god gave me the courage to go on this journey even though there were days that were really hard. the sacrifices we made were nothing compared to the blessings and joy that veronica has brought to our family.

our family would not have been complete without our miss v.....

it's been a while....

2011-02-09T19:59:00.011-05:00

ok, i know, it has been a LONG time. i have had the best of intentions, but life has gotten in the way. i really have not found much time to do the "extras". like the blog. i still miss it. and, i know i am going to regret not writing. so, here i go. another attempt.

gosh, where do i even begin. life is so full! it's busy. it's crazy. it's fun. it's challenging, it's trying, it's exhausting, it's everything i wanted.

tj....he's getting so big. he's reading. he has playdates. he loves the computer. he's doing cub scouts and basketball. what can i say, he's a big kid now.

andrew....my funny guy. he has the best imagination. he plays all day long. i don't regret one thing we got him for christmas, because he plays with each and every toy.

ryan....my music man, my giggler, my social butterfly. he loves everyone. he laughs all the time. he has a really joyful spirit. oh, and he is talking non-stop. about time, right?

henry....baby hen, hens, golden hen....he is such a love. he snuggles, he dances, he gets around (i wouldn't say he crawls. just gets around). he has four teeth already and his face is usually messy. he's another happy boy. oh, but did i mention he is still not sleeping through the night. oh yeah, and no bottle either. i guess he is a little stubborn. (and, i guess this is why i haven't blogged in three months.)

veronica...miss v, "oh, that girl"...where do i begin. she is so sweet, and so cute. she makes me laugh, everyday. she is a super snuggler and gives the best hugs. she also gives me at least one grey hair a day. seriously, i can not take my eyes off of her! for. one. minute! she is into everything! help me out moms, it is a girl thing? a two year old thing? and adopted child thing?

let me give you a few examples...

veronica thought it would be a nice idea to style her hair with decitin. i was away from her for maybe 5 minutes and this is what i find....

she didn't only do it once, but agian the next day...

she has broken multiple objects in our home. actually, it is at least one thing, daily. some of the victims were the glass tabletop on her wicker night table, multiple glasses, two lamps, the vacuum, an i-phone, dishes, picture frames, just to name a few.

she eats lipstick and chapstick on a regular basis. i mean, why not?

she enjoys playing in the toilet. i think she might be trying to clean it, but she still manages to flood the bathrooms. toys make excellent objects to flush.

she also thinks that rather than keeping her clothes in drawers, a much better place for them would be on the floor. all. over. her room!! (or ry-guys when she is in his room)

she also makes a habit of taking off her clothes. i know it's a little strange, but not surprising. until this sunday. when she took off her clothes and went in my bedroon and pooped on the floor. yup. should i take this as a sign that she is ready to potty train?

coloring herself is also a fun hobby of hers. sometimes, she colors ryan too....

don't get me wrong....i love veroncia to pieces. she is such a joy and brings so much to our family. she is the cutest little girl in the world! her smile and giggle can melt your heart. she is exactly were she was meant to be. she loves her family. she has a best friend in ryan. and i could not imagine my life without her in it.

but, phew!!! is she going through the terrible twos or what!?!!?!?!?!?

my princess

2010-10-27T10:12:00.006-04:00

our little lady went to her first princess party this weekend.....

she ate finger sandwiches, made a crown, and even got her nails done....

then, she came home......

and it was back to business as usual.

my guy turns 2!

2010-10-26T10:23:00.005-04:00

ryan turned 2 last wednesday!!

i can't believe how fast my kids are growing. i can't keep up. ryan was my baby. granted i have another baby. but, it still feels like ryan should be my baby too.

i am really enjoying this age though! i know....enjoying the twos? yup! ryan is such a joy! he is so silly and happy. i just love looking at his smiling face. i love how he runs to me EVERY time i walk into the house, greeting me with a big hug. i love how when i leave, he says "bye, see ya laaaaa" (later) i love how he shakes his little tushie when he dances. i love that he loves music. i love that the first thing he wants to do when he wakes up is go to veronica's room and get her. i love how he is starting to say tons of words. i love his little mini vans sneakers. i love that he loves people.

i could go on forever about how much i love my ry guy. he is such a blessing!

sometimes.....

2010-09-24T16:13:00.002-04:00

....we just need a little reminder

not my finest hour

2010-09-22T12:08:00.004-04:00

there are days when i feel like i have a handle on things. days when i feel like i'm not doing too bad at being a mommy of 5 little ones.

today was NOT one of those days!

i decided to sign my littlest ones up for story time at the library. a chose a time when andrew was at school, so i only had the three littlest with me. i attempted our first story time last week and it did not go well. i should have accepted it and moved on. but, no. i chalked it up to it being their first time. now they will know what to expect. they will be perfect angels this time.

why didn't someone just knock some sense into me?

so, there i am. henry is in the baby bjorn attached to my front. ryan and veronica "sitting" on either side of me.

so far, so good.

ten seconds later.....ryan starts to scream. high pitched screams. over and over and over. this is new. brand new. where did this come from? why now? why at story time...in the LIBRARY!?!? he thought it was histerical....ignoring my threats of a time out. he finally stopped when he found something slightly more interesting to do. nope, not listen to the story or sing the songs. nope. playing with my wallet is much more fun than that. taking out my phone, credit card, important papers. why not?

as if all this disruption isn't enough, i have veronica on the other side of me making just as much of a problem. she wanted a granola bar. i said no. she threw a fit. full out fit. yelling "NOOOOOO" repeatedly. rolling on the ground. yelling some more. (on a side note, she doesn't at all like granola bars. she takes a bite and spits it out every time.)

then, they start fighting. over what i don't even know. the nametags i think. so, now i have the misbehaving children that also fight.

why are kids always the worst behaved at the most inappropriate times? is it to embarrass me? becuase really, they do not act like this all the time.

i can't leave. i am on the complete opposite side of the room as the door. i did this on purpose because last week, the kids were trying to escape. it seems that every other child in the room is quietly sitting on their mother's lap, listening to the story, singing the songs, smiling. they may as well all have little halos above their heads. i just keep praying that it would be over soon so we could leave.

it ends.

all the children go to get their stickers, i collect my things. the door opens. ryan runs out. i grab veronica's hand to go catch up to ryan before he starts taking books off the shelf. however, each and every other parent has now beat me to the door and are slowly piling out with their darling little angels. don't they remember that i am the one with the crazy little ones? don't they realize i need to LEAVE!?!?!

luckily i get out the door and ryan has not gone far and not done anything distructive. i grab veronica's hand to walk out the door and she throws herself to the ground, screaming, once again. seems that i was holding the hand with the sticker on it. how dare i!!! so, i pick her up and attempt to get out of there as quickly as possible.

so now, i have henry still in the bjorn (by the way, he was a perfect little baby. i think he was feeling sorry for me.) i am holding the diaper bag over my shoulder, and holding veronica on one hip. i let go of ryan's hand to open the door. he starts running toward the parking lot. now, i know this sounds dangerous, but there are steps and concrete before you get to the parking lot. so, i had time to get ry-guy. i, obviously would not have let him get to the street without me.

then, a little old lady stops me to ask how old beautiful little veroncia is. really? "two" i say politely as i start walking faster to catch up to ryan. then, spotting ryan running toward the street, the nice lady decides to start yelling at me...loudly......"grab his hand!!! you HAVE to hold his hand!!! grab him!!!!"

ok, really? i'm not going to let him go in the street without me. i am going to hold his hand. please lady, don't make this harder on me.

i get ryan's hand and we walk to our van. i hear the little old lady yell from behind me...."have a nice day!". i manage to utter "you too."

so, needless to say, that will be our last story time for a while. i think we will stick to reading books at home.

an untold part of her story.......

2010-09-18T13:59:00.007-04:00

from the very beginning of our adoption journey to veronica, i have believed that god has been with us, with her, and in every large and small detail of it. i have held true to the fact that god timed everything perfectly, even when i couldn't understand. and, believe me, it is MUCH easier for me to say that now that we are on the other end of this journey. i KNOW how hard it is for adoptive parents to wait, and wait, and wait. and i remember questioning god....why is it taking so long? why are all these extra challenges arising?

but, here is an untold part of veronica's story. one that adds to the many ways god has shown himself to us throughout this process.....

there is another family that adopted from the same region (ust-kamenogorsk) during the fall of last year. we connected with each other through a kazakhstan adoption blog site (many of you know what i'm talking about...yup! lotsofkazblogs.com) as it came close to the time that we were scheduled to travel, this family tried to reach out to us through email. but, strangely, i never received any email from them. so, our blog went private, they were unable to follow along because i didn't realize they wanted an invite, and we left for kaz. we met veronica, fell in love with her, and adopted her (obviously).

when the adoption was final, we made our blog public again, and this other kaz family went back and read through our story. they emailed me again, but i never got it. so, they decided to give up. they thought they had offended me somehow and didn't want to bother me.

so, a month or so passed, veronica came home, henry was born, and life continued. this family continued to read our blog, and decided to reach out one last time. this time, they left a comment on the blog. so, i got it and responded right away. and we heard this incredible story.....

as i said before, this family adopted their child in the fall from the same region. but, it just so happened, that their child was in the same orphanage and the same group as veronica! one morning, as they arrived for their visit with their daughter, they had to wait a few minutes for the caregivers to get her ready. while they waited, there was a little girl, sitting in a high chair , crying and crying. there were two caregivers nearby, chatting with each other, seemingly ignoring this little girl. now, i know that when a child cries ALL THE TIME, you have to ignore it sometimes. and i also know that these caregivers have a lot of children to care for. but, this situation seemed different to them,and it really touched this couple. they said this little girl just looked so pitiful and sad. it took all they had not to go over and comfort her themselves. they decided to pray for this little girl. they committed to pray that a family would come for her SOON.

months later, when this family was reading through my blog, they saw the little girl that they had been praying for.....veronica! they were overjoyed! they even sent me a picture of veronica taken months before we met her. you can see her in the back with the pink striped shirt on....15 months old.

i believe that god heard their prayers....and answered them! i know that god had his hand in every detail of this story. i am so thankful for this family and their faith and persistance :)

double trouble....

2010-09-17T16:40:00.004-04:00

i tell ya, having two two year olds (or one almost two year olds) has it's joys. it also has it's challenges! some, more humerus than others...

yesterday, ryan learned how to climb out of his crib. i never had a "crib escapee" before. but, the truth is, i should have seen it coming. veronica has been climbing in and out of ryan's crib for weeks. it was only a matter of time before ryan followed her.

well, finally, yesterday, ryan was brave enough to go for it. i knew we were in for it. but, i didn't know how bad. seems, he also learned how to turn a door knob and open his bedroom door....or any door for that matter. uh oh!

this morning, sure enough, ryan woke up bright and early, climbed out of his crib and escaped his room. what was the very first thing he did? yup! he went to get his partner in crime. veronica hasn't figured out how to escape from her room yet. but, she no longer needs to worry about that....she has ryan to free her.

their next stop? of course, our bedroom! "mommy, mama, daddy, papa,"

yeah, i have a feeling we are in for some early mornings.

ahhhh.....twins!

the lake house

2010-09-10T09:30:00.008-04:00

seven years ago, keith and i found out i was pregnant with our first son. a few short months after that, we bought a tiny,two bedroom house resembling a lighthouse right on a lake. we had big dreams for this house. we were going to add on extra bedrooms so we could bring family up for vacations. we were going to add on a game room, a big kitchen, lots of outdoor deck areas. we were going to make this house a place that we would hold on to forever. a place that we would bring our children and grandchildren to for the summers. a place where many memories would be created.....

many of those dreams became a reality. we did add on to the house. we added everything we hoped for. a beautiful kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, an upper and lower deck area. we collected canoes, kayaks, paddle boats, tubes, toys. and we did have many vacations there over the past seven years. we celebrated birthdays and holidays there. we hosted many friends and family. we held retreats for our church there. we did weekend getaways there. our kids had there first boat rides. tj took his first steps there. veronica said "mommy" for the first time there.

today, we close on the selling of the house.

i am really sad about losing this house. i get sad at the loss of chance of memories that we could have had there. but, i know selling this house is the right choice. we have been renting the house for vacation renters, and it has become a lot of work! mostly for keith. and, to be honest, at this time in our lives, we need the money. adoption is expensive....life is expensive.....loans need to be paid off. so, in my mind, i know this is a step in the right direction for us. my heart, well, that will take some catching up.

i know our family will still have vacations and we will still create TONS of memories. they will just look a little different than i had imagined. like one of my dear friends said, "a season for everything. on to new adventures!"

we did get to spend some time at the lake in the beginning of the summer and again at the end. needless to say, veronica loved the water. and tj and andrew had a blast going on "adventures" with keith. ryan preferred to stay on the deck and play with all the toys. and henry....well, i'm sure he loved it to :)

here are some (ok, a lot of) pictures from our trips.....

farewell lake house!

happy birthday ANDREW!

2010-09-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

oh my...it has been so long since i have posted! i miss it!! and i have so much to catch up on....zhenya's visit, veronica's progress, henry and veronica's dedication, a visit from the walsh family...and so much more. and, i promise...
i am back! :)

but, for now, i just want to celebrate my sweet boy ANDREW

today, he is 4! F O U R! can you believe it? i feel like he should still be ryan's age. that's probably why i call ryan "andrew" a hundred times a day.

i am so blessed that god made me andrew's mom. he makes me smile every single day. seriously! he is such a funny, joyful, caring spirit. i am so grateful for him and i love him more than i can say in words.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY ANDREW-MAN!!

time with zhenya.....

2010-07-30T09:39:00.010-04:00

the past week with zhenya has been great! the days have been very full and busy....and at times a bit crazy, but we are all having a great experience.

the first full day zhenya was here we had a bbq for our church at our house. i know...we are crazy. i've heard it before. anyway, it was a fun day. there may have been a slight incident where zhenya was riding a hotwheels bike around the pool and fell in. and our friend kevin may have had to jump in to get zhenya (sacrificing his phone in the process). but other than that, the day was a success. and don't worry, zhenya eventually got right back into the pool (thanks to tom sasso!). and he was soon doing flying leaps into the pool :)

after the bbq, we packed all six kids up and headed to a friends house to celebrate a birthday. zhenya got to experience a true american birthday party.....pizza and ice cream cake! needless to say, he went back for seconds on the ice cream :)

we did have a bit of a situation at the party. zhenya motioned that he wanted to go outside. it was raining, so i though he wanted to feel the rain. my friend offered to take him outside. she quickly realized that he needed to use the bathroom when he went over to a bush. she brought him right in and showed him the bathroom. note to self....show zhenya where the toilet is whenever we go to a new place!!

monday and tuesday, we decided to take it easy and have a couple quiet days at home. the boys have been getting along great with zhenya. we have been spending time with keith's sister and her three kids. everyone has been having a great time.

on wednesday, my sister and i took the kids to a park nearby to go to the farm and have a picnic. i was so proud of us! we had a successful outing with six kids!

that night we met some friends at the beach for dinner. it was SUPER windy, but we managed to stay for about an hour. when zhenya caught sight if the ocean, he yelled, "mama!", and he had a priceless look on his face. he was amazed. at first, he was happy playing in the sand....digging holes and burying himself. but eventually, he got brave enough to go down and touch the water (again, thanks to tom sasso). he had fun climbing the lifeguard stand and running around. i'm looking forward to taking him again. when the wind isn't so strong!

the arrival of zhenya....

2010-07-26T21:52:00.007-04:00

wow! where to i even begin??? this has been quite the adventure so far. but, the eyermans are all about excitement these days.

on saturday, we started the day with breakfast with keith's sister and her three kids and mimi. my kids LOVE when the walshs come to visit!! so, it was a fun filled morning. my parents came over around noon to watch the little kids so keith and i could head to the airport with tj, andrew and henry to pick up zhenya. so far, the day was going just as planned.

i should have known better :)

of course we hit a ton of traffic heading to the airport. living by the beach during the summer has its ups and downs. luckily for us, the plane that the children were on coming from rome was delayed by an hour. so, we actually arrived at the airport just as the plane was landing.

unload three kids (which seems easy now adays), balloons, gifts, cooler of water bottles, poster, snacks, etc. and head over to meet the others waiting for the group from ukraine to arrive.

well, costoms ended up taking the group about TWO hours to get through!! i wish my story ended there....but it doesn't. i have to backtrack a little here and tell you who we were waiting with. a lovely couple from deleware who is hosting an eleven year old girl, the translator, and a man from cincinnati who will be hosting a twelve year old boy. now, this poor man flew in from cincinnati the night before with his wife (who was helping the group try to get through customs). earlier that morning, they were walking through the park and he was suddenly struck with severe pain. after a trip to the hospital, it turned out to be a kidney stone. they released him with pain killers and instructions to get back to cincinnati quickly to his doctor. so, this man was with us in the airport, in lots of pain, and waiting and waiting and waiting.

the group finally came out....one caregiver with eleven children from an orphanage in the ukraine. but, the arrival was not the exciting, happy celebration i had envisioned. there was lots of chaos. talk of lost baggage (although, zhenya only came with a plastic bag, so i'm not sure what "baggage" they lost) and lots of concern about the missed connecting flights. half the group was continuing on to cincinnati and half was continuing on to california (minus zhenya and the girl who was going with the deleware couple.

anyway, there were hours spent trying to figure out different flights. during this time, we gave the kids snacks, i gave them coloring books and crayons. we gave zhenya a stuffed shark which he was super attached to and proud of! zhenya broke off from the group for a while to play around with tj and andrew. it was really sweet! eventually, the california group finally found a flight out. however, the cincinnati group didn't have so much luck. so, now we were all trying to figure out what to do about the rest of the group. during this time, as you can imagine, the kids were exhausted. they just spent about 18 hours in flight, and now they are couped up in an airport......an atmosphere they, clearly, are not used to. there were kids running around, riding the escalator, playing in the revolving doors. as i was trying to keep all the highly excited ukrainian children under control, while holding henry, i lost sight of andrew!!

when i say this was the closest i had been to pure panic, that is an understatement. i told everyone around me i had lost andrew, a little boy in a green and blue bathing suit. keith ran one way, the deleware couple ran another. i could feel tears being forced back behind my eyes. it was hard to breathe. after about three HORRIBLE minutes, andrew comes skipping out of the bathroom. WHAT?? he has NEVER gone to the bathroom on his own in a public place! after lots of hugging and telling andrew NEVER to do that again....i was emotionally exhausted.

now, going back to the plans for the missed flight. ends up, they found a flight out of a different airport the next morning.....at 6 am! so, of course, we invite them all to spend the night at our house! five kids from ukraine and the cincinnati couple ended up spending the night at our house. we got all the kids showered, fed, and teeth brushed. we set them up with couches to sleep on and everyone fell asleep around midnight.

keith got up at at 4 am to drive the group to the airport. it was a short stay, but i think it was good for zhenya to have his friends here. he seems to have adjusted very well to us and there doesn't seem to be any lonely feelings or sad feelings. i think having his friends here...if only for a little bit, helped.

so, now begins our adventures with zhenya. so far, he is a super sweet, super cute little guy. i'm looking forward to the next few weeks.

here are a few pictures of our adventure thus far.....

getting ready...

2010-07-23T13:45:00.003-04:00

we have been busy getting ready for our ukraine visitor. we are so excited!!

i have pulled out all of the boys clothes that i think will fit zhenya and put them in his own dresser. we have his air mattress set up and ready. (although we have a guest room, tj really wanted zhenya to sleep in the boys room with them. he even offered to give him his bed. so, we will try the air mattress and see how it goes.)
we made a big poster that says "welcome to the usa, zhenya!" in russian. we have balloons and some small gifts for him when we meet him. we have stocked up on food. and, we have planned some fun things to do while he is here!

we pick him up tomorrow afternoon.....let the fun begin!

a little change....

2010-07-15T14:14:00.004-04:00

well, if you know anything about adoption or anything related to adoption (ie hosting), you know that things are always unpredictable. so, needless to say, we have had a slight change in our hosting plans.

due to a long and complicated series of events, sergiy will not be coming to stay with us this summer. but, instead, we will be hosting a six year old from ukraine named zhenya (eugene). we are all still just as excited. tj was thrilled to hear that zhenya was only six instead of seven. we have tons of fun stuff planned to do with zhenya. hopefully, he will have a great experienced and have three full weeks of feeling special and loved.

to be honest, we were all a little disappointed that we wouldn't get to meet sergiy. by no means are we disappointed about hosting zhenya! just about not hosting sergiy. we had gotten attached to him through his photos and talking about him and praying for him. it was tricky trying to explain to tj and andrew why he couldn't come anymore. but, there is a chance that we will be able to host him in the future. and, because he will not be making the trip this summer, the adoption coordinators in the ukraine are sending him to camp for the month of august...yay!

so now, we will prepare for zhenya's arrival. his picture shows a brown eyed, light haired little boy. he looks sad in his picture, so i am hoping this trip (and extra hugs) will add a little sparkle in his eyes. and who knows, maybe we will find him a forever family during his stay with us. wouldn't that be amazing?!?!?!

a summer surprise.....

2010-07-10T18:18:00.004-04:00

a few days ago, keith and i received an email from our adoption agency. they were looking for host families for several children from the ukraine. keith and i had talked about hosting before, but we didn't think we had the money to do it this year. and, to be honest, we have had quite a bit of changes here lately! but, apparently, god had a different plan for us! the email said that the agency got a grant and would be allocating $1000 to each child who got hosted. this only left a couple hundred dollars needed to host a child. so, keith and i talked about it (for about ten minutes before we knew what we were going to do)

so, two weeks from today, a sweet, seven year old orphan named sergiy will come to live with us for three weeks!!!

we are so excited! as soon as we saw his picture, his bright blue eyes jumped right out at us and we knew we wanted to sponsor him to come. i think tj is the most excited. he is already making plans for where sergiy will sleep and what we will all do together.

you can see his picture and the other orphans who will be coming at the link below...

href="http://www.godswaitingchildren.com/pdfs/hosting_8_3924480426.pdf">

so, for three weeks, we are going to be a family of 8!!

a birthday bash!!

2010-07-09T16:28:00.014-04:00

we had a huge birthday party for miss veronica's second birthday. we invited our families, our whole church and many other friends. we wanted to celebrate our sweet girl, but also thank everyone for all the support they have given us throughout this entire process. if it were not for our church community and our families, we couldn't have traveled away for a month to bring veronica home. we are so thankful! and what a better way to express that than with a PARTY!!

here are some pictures of our super fun day.....

the beautiful birthday girl!

V and mommy....

the cake and cupcakes...yummmmmm

she wasn't so sure how she felt when lots of people were singing and looking at her. but, she enjoyed the cake :)

there were LOTS of pool shenanigans....

and everyone went home with a sweet treat...

veronica had a really fun day. and we got to spend a beautiful (and really hot) day with all the people we love.

successful birthday party :)

look who's 2!

2010-06-22T20:39:00.007-04:00

that's right! miss veronica turned two today! it was a really special birthday, because we got to celebrate as a family. in many ways, it was like her first birthday. we are so incredibly happy to have her home and celebrate her, love her and tell her how special she is.

we had a very low key celebration today. it started off with birthday bagels with aunt katie (aka gooey).

we had a birthday dinner,v's favorites...pasta and eggplant parm. and for dessert i made a banana cream pie. we all know that banana's are the way to this little lady's heart!

and, a few little gifts for the birthday girl.

it was a nice day. and we have more birthday festivities to come!

beach bums and an update

2010-06-21T08:53:00.009-04:00

i feel like it is almost everyday that veronica is experiencing something new or doing something for the first time. henry too. but, what fun it is to watch a toddler experience something for the first time. we have been enjoying many "firsts" around here......

one of my favorites was veronica's first trip to the beach. we live ten minutes from the beach, so we try to go often. however, going alone during the day is still a bit more than i can handle at this point. so, once a week, we pack up dinner and meet friends down at the beach. it is one of my favorite things about summer!

when we first got to the beach, veronica wasn't so sure about the sand.

but she soon took her shoes off and was exploring.

she also was hesitant about the ocean. but, our good friend bryan was there to break her right in. it didn't take long before her and her cousin zeke were splashing around in the waves.

henry wasn't as excited about the beach. he did find it relaxing though :)

the other boys enjoy it too. tj has become much braver about the ocean. and andrew, well, i can barely get him to come out of the water.

things around here seem to be getting better and better by the day. when i think back to a few weeks ago, i can't believe how hard it was. i'm hoping that a few weeks from now, it will be even easier. and i will look back to today be shocked at how hard it was.

we aren't in the clear with breaking bad habits and adjusting to new things. but, we are making huge strides. veronica shares her food. she still wants to "share" everyone elses too, but she doesn't hoard food as much.

her understanding of the language is unbelievable to me. she understands just about everything i tell her. sometimes i forget that english is her second language. and she talks SO much! she isn't the silent little lady we met in kaz anymore. she even says a bunch of words in english....juice, car, more, no, stop....

her hitting is much less frequent. she is even showing loving signs much more. yesterday, ryan got hurt and she went over to him and hugged him, rubbing his back. it surprised him so much he stopped crying and stared at her.

she is sleeping in her bed. she lays right down when i tell her and barely cries when i leave her in her room. i think she is coming to understand that we are always going to come back for her.

she also cries A LOT more. which i am actually taking as a good sign :) when she first got home, if she got hurt or was sad, she wouldn't cry. she would just suck her thumb and comfort herself. now, if she gets hurt she cries....oh she cries! but now she knows that she can be comforted by us.

i am adjusting better as well. i feel like i have a better handle on things. i don't get worked up as much, and i am actually kind of keeping on top of the house cleaning and laundry too. i am actually enjoying being with all the kids instead of just "surviving". we have been very busy doing a lot of fun things, so hopefully, i'll be able to blog more about them. you know, since i have it all together now....haha!!

are they twins?

2010-06-09T13:44:00.007-04:00

it isn't often that i venture out of the house with all five kids. but, there is tj's weekly t-ball game or an occasional birthday party or playground outing. most of the time, someone will question me on my children. the conversation usually goes something like this...

stranger: are all of them your kids?

me: yup
now, keep in mind, i am usually trying to help one child climb stairs or keep from falling or stop another from running away while trying to hold a conversation with said stranger without seeming rude.

stranger: you have four?

me: no, five. (usually, one of the kids is out of my reach. typically tj)

stranger: oh wow, you have your hands full! (always this comment! oh how i wish this statement would never be spoken to me again!) what are their ages?

me: 6, 3 1/2, 1, 1, and 4 weeks.

stranger:are they twins? pointing at ryan and v

me: nope. she is four months older than he is.

this exchange is followed by a complete look of puzzlement on strangers face (which i thoroughly enjoy). then, i explain that v is adopted and has just recently arrived home. usually, stranger then continues with many questions.....
where is she from?
why was she in an orphanage?
how long did the process take?
does she speak english?
how is she adjusting?
how do the other children feel about it?
what made you want to do this?

i love sharing veronica's story with people. and i love using it as a short window to be a witness of god's love. and, i know stranger isn't being rude by asking all the questions. but, i wonder how long i am going to have to explain our situation to people.

don't get me wrong, i am not ashamed of the fact that veronica is adopted. i'm actually quite proud of her and her story. but, that is just it....it's her story. i don't want her adoption to be her only identity. i don't want to have to explain her story to every stranger who innocently asks. i don't want people to only associate her with the fact that she is adopted. i want her to be able to form her own identity....just like everyone else.

so, i have been taking the advice of one of my very dear friends and another adoptive mom. i tell people that she is adopted from kazakhstan. i talk about how proud i am of her and what a special little girl she is. but, when they get into questions about why she was in an orphanage and whatnot, i tell them that we don't know much about her history, but the little we do know, is her story to tell.

although, to be honest, sometimes i would just prefer to say...."yup, they are twins. aren't they adorable?"

the positives.....

2010-05-28T12:12:00.004-04:00

can you see a difference? the first picture was taken the very first time we saw miss V. the second was taken only a few days ago.

when i look at these two pictures, i can see the positive. and today, i am going to focus on the positive. this is by far the hardest thing i have ever done in my life.... emotionally, physically, and everything in between. so, sometimes, i have to take a step back and see how far we have come.

in the first picture, i see a beautiful little girl....scared, confused. there is little emotion in her eyes. she is very quiet and rarely laughs. she is very tiny and has barely any hair.

in the second picture, i still see a beautiful little girl. only, this little girl has joy in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. she laughs ALL the time (even when it's not appropriate :) ) she is affectionate. she is five pounds heavier! and, her hair has even grown and become more healthy. she talks all the time and even says some words in english. she is a strong little girl....both inside and out. her coordination continues to improve. she can run along with the rest of the boys. she is a good eater. she loves her bananas and her cupcakes. she likes to be around people and makes everyone around her smile.

we really have had a bunch of little successes in the short four weeks she has been home. the hitting has gotten better. thank you for all the advice. we have stuck with our original discipline strategy. when she (or ryan) hit, we hold their hands and say "no hitting". we hold them for about a minute. afterward, we hug and cuddle and explain that hitting is not allowed. it seems to be working. a few days ago, we almost had a day without any hitting at all. and two days ago, we managed to replace the hitting with hugs. both of the little kids seem to want to hit to get a reaction out of someone. so instead, i say no, we hug! and once they hug each other, we have a big celebration....clapping, jumping up and down, cheering. yes, it may seem a bit extreme, but it's the reaction they want :)

V has also become much more loving and affectionate with me. she even called out "mama" today to get my attention. she was always loving with keith and the boys (mostly tj) but it has been more of a journey to get her to attach to me. but, i think we are getting there.

she also isn't testing me as much with bad behaviors. i think she got bored with it. occasionally, she will do something she knows is wrong, just to get me. but, for the most part it's improving.

by no means are we totally adjusted or settled into being a family of 7. we still have a LONG road ahead. but, i can see the little progress we have made. and, at the end of the day, it is SO worth it. i mean, who couldn't fall in love with this precious face....

danger zone!

2010-05-21T12:51:00.006-04:00

the biggest challenge so far with miss V is the hitting. it is almost an instant reaction for her. she hits when she is mad. she hits when she is excited. she hits when she is trying to get attention. she hits to be funny.

what do you do about that?

i have tried time outs. holding her hands so she can't get free. she doesn't like when i am giving her the time out, but it hasn't seemed to have any effect on the behavior. i have tried giving her time outs by leaving her in a room by herself in a pack-n-play (or laundry basket since she hasn't figured out how to get out). she HATES when i do this. but again, it doesn't seem to have any effect on the hitting. and, i feel somewhat guilty about this type of time out. i don't want her to have abandonment issues.

so, really, what do i do?

i know it takes a while to break a habit. but, it really doesn't seem to be getting any better. maybe slightly, but not a lot.

and the worse part.....she has gotten ryan on board the hitting wagon! i think he got tired of getting beat up. so, now he hits right back. or worse, he starts it. they hit each other, they hit the dogs, they hit me. i feel like all day long, i am going back and forth giving a time out to one and then the other.

maybe it's the "terrible two's". luckily, i escaped the terrible two's with both tj and andrew. i mean, there were slight tantrums and not listening to me. but, i always felt like i had their behavior under control. so, i am totally lost with how to deal with all this hitting. especially since i feel like V is a different case. i want to make sure we are doing the right disciplining with her.

so, i'm taking suggestions. what do i do?

how are we doing?

2010-05-17T08:32:00.009-04:00

as you can probably imagine, it has been a crazy couple of weeks around here...hence the complete lack of blogging. there have been lots of ups and downs. lots of challenges and lots of rewards. lots of chaos and some quiet time.

to be honest, if you had asked me how i was doing last week, i would have told you that i wanted out! i was feeling completely inadequate. i was an emotional mess. i didn't think i was up for the task of being a mom to five kids six and under. i wanted OUT!

i had a hard couple of days when i first got home from the hospital with henry. it was almost as if i had to start all over with veronica. i'm not sure if she was mad at me for leaving her for a couple days or if she was upset with this new little man we brought home, but she was REALLY testing me. it was a combination of hitting the "terrible two's" and seeing what she could get away with in her new environment. there was a lot of hitting, a lot of stealing food, a lot of throwing food on the floor. of course these kinds of things are to be expected. but, the thing is, she knew that most of it was bad. she would take the ryan's pacifier from his mouth, look at me, laugh, and run away. or, she would put something in her mouth (like a penny!), look at me, laugh, and run away. i had to have a constant eye on her to make sure she wasn't hurting herself or someone else. i know she was just feeling out her boundaries, but boy was it exhausting! i felt like all i was doing all day was giving veronica time outs. i felt like there was no way she was going to love me after how "mean" i was being to her. and i felt like she was never going to attach to me like she was attached to keith....or keith's mom for that matter.

but, this weekend, things got A LOT better. i guess veronica got tired of testing me. or more likely, she got tired of all the time outs. but, her behavior has been a lot better. she is listening and not hitting as much. and she is beginning to understand the appropriate ways to wait for food and not steal it. i know this is going to be a long road. but, at least i feel like i am up to the task now.

of course, things haven't been all bad. there have also been wonderful moments and lots that i am learning about my daughter. she is quite the housekeeper! she loves to put things away and follow me around with a broom or a cloth to help clean. that sure is a change from the boys.

i taught her how to give kisses, and now she loves giving them to papa, her brothers and me.

she has a great giggle! the kind that makes you laugh no matter what. the boys have these kind of giggles too. it makes life so enjoyable.

i can tell she is already picking up the language. she understands words like sit down, come here, where's so and so. actually, sometimes i forget that she doesn't know our language, because most of the time it seems like she is understanding me just fine. today, she even picked up my car keys, waved to me, and said "bye" as clear as day.

she loves to run around the house with the boys. tj and andrew have been wonderful with her. tj has been helping so much and veronica just adores him! he is the next best thing to daddy around here.

>

we have been having some great family time. this weekend, we went to tj's baseball game and then to keith's dad's for lunch and a visit with the horses. and sunday, we went to church and then played outside for most of the afternoon.

henry has been a dream baby! he eats and sleeps and rarely makes a peep. he is such a little mush and we all love him to pieces.

so basically, we are continuing to try and figure things out around here. there are a lot more sippy cups, a TON more laundry, an amazing amount of dirty diapers, and not a whole lot of sleep, but things are still good.....and getting better every day.

and then we were 7....

2010-05-12T09:04:00.007-04:00

INTRODUCING......

HENRY MATTHEW!
Born May 6, 2010
10:58 am
7 pounds 6 ounces
19 1/4 inches

we are so excited to have our little man here!

this was the first time we didn't not find out if we were having a boy or a girl. but, when the doctor said "it's a BOY!", i was not surprised at all. both keith and i were pretty sure we were having a boy. after all, we make pretty great boys :)

i started to go into labor around 11 the night before. although, the whole day before i knew it was coming. so did my sister-in-law. she predicted i would go to the hospital that night when her, matt and zeke were over for dinner.

around 1:30 am i decided to walk around the house a little. i went downstairs to make sure my phone and the camera was charged. i packed tj's lunch. i cleaned the kitchen and the living room. about 2:30 i called the doctor. contractions were pretty painful and 6 minutes apart. i figured since this was birth #4 for me i should head to the hospital. but no. the doctor said to take a warm shower to see if it was real labor. ok? he said if i get to 5 minutes apart, to go to the hospital.

well, by the time i got out of the shower, the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. so, keith called his mom to come over and we headed out. by the time we got to the hospital i was ready for the epidural :) my contractions were really intense. "monster contractions" the nurse called them. so, i got the epidural around 5am. after that, although i didn't feel any pain, things started slowing down. i got to 10 cm pretty quickly, but we just had to wait for the little guy to descend. but, just before 11 am, he made his grand appearance.

we chose the name henry, not only because we really like the name, but also after keith's grandmother, henriette. and, we chose the name matthew after my brother. i love giving our children family names. i think it's really special.

keith and his mom brought the whole gang over to meet henry after tj got out of school. tj couldn't get over how tiny and cute he was. andrew was so excited to touch him. although, his main concern was that i couldn't come home with them. he is still recovering from when i was in kaz. ryan and veronica both wanted to touch him. i think veronica thought henry was a doll until he made a noise. then she looked at me as if in shock.

so, now we will learn how to be a family of seven. let the fun begin!

here are some pictures of henry's first days......

adjusting...

2010-05-05T10:24:00.013-04:00

remember when i said i would be back tomorrow...ha! i should have known better!

we have pretty much been spending the past few days trying to figure out how to be a family of six before we become a family of seven. things are going surprisingly well. by no means are things perfect or easy, but they are better than i expected.

saturday was veronica's first full day home. veronica and ryan woke up around 6. i couldn't believe veronica slept through the night without even a peep. she must have been exhausted! i got up with the little ones and let keith sleep.

this was when it first hit me that having ryan and veronica was going to be like having twins. i put them both in their boosters next to each other and started to get them their breakfast....two sippy cups, two cut up bananas, two handfuls of cheerios on their trays, and one bowl of oatmeal to share between them. i can remember watching my sister-in-law tara doing this same routine with her twins.

the older boys woke up soon after and it was off to get them breakfast. here is the challenge. veronica is SUPER clumsy! i guess i didn't realize it at the orphanage because she was surrounded with a whole bunch of other clumsy kids. but, she falls down all the time! and, she wants to walk down the stairs forward instead of on her hands and knees. living in a split level, this makes life pretty complicated. so, the baby gates are back.....boo! anyway, back to breakfast. since i have to keep a constant eye on veronica, it's hard to get anything else done. so making breakfast for tj and andrew was tricky. and, i didn't even get to enjoy a cup of coffee :(

after breakfast, tj got ready for t-ball and keith got up and ready to take him. i wasn't going to go, but i decided that being out in the fresh air and a big open field might be a good idea. so, after keith left with tj, i started to get the other three kids ready. i should be used to three kids, right...ha!

i had to give ryan and veronica a bath. veronica was a complete mess from the days of travel and ryan will not let anyone have a bath if he's not in it. so, i put them both in the tub together. this actually went really well. veronica loved the tub! she was splashing around and laughing. she even took a washcloth and began washing herself. when it was time to get out, she wasn't very happy. she even turned over and put her face right in the water. it didn't scare her at all.

i got everyone dressed...even me...and we headed to tj's game a half hour late. keith took andrew and ryan on the playground and i watched tj play his game with a sleeping veronica next to me.

veronica is very used to me at this point, but she still has her soft spot for keith...

the rest of the day was spent outside in our yard.....

she loves to take her shoes off and put them back on. she actually gets them on the right foot!

gramps came over to meet his newest granddaughter...

and so did our good friends, the lus....

the next day, we headed to church for the first time as a family of six. veronica slept through the entire service on my shoulder. afterward she ran around with all the other kids like she has always been here.

there have definitely been a lot of highlights the past few days. veronica and the boys have playing together. it's fun to watch ryan and veronica interact. they follow each other around and mimic each other. they make each other laugh all the time. tj and andrew have been huge helpers! they love to help veronica figure things out and show her new things.

veronica has been a perfect sleeper and eater. she has also been really good about being around people. she still clings, but as long as keith or i are with her, she is really friendly. i think she is also doing well with the language barrier. she is starting to do some of the things i am telling her, like "get your shoes" or "do you want juice?" she has gotten a bit more coordinated over the past couple days and can even navigate the stairs pretty well now....phew! she seems to really feel comfortable with our family and our house.

there have been a handful of challenges as well. which, we fully expected.

she like to hit. we saw this at the orphanage with her and all the other children. they hit each other a lot. so, it's a habit we are trying hard to break. she especially likes to hit ryan...poor guy. she hits me a lot too. we have been giving her time outs when she does this. we sit her down and hold her hands so she can't get free. she gets pretty upset when she knows she is in trouble. time out only lasts a minute or so and is followed by a hug and a kiss.

she also has a really hard time sharing....especially when it comes to food. she doesn't like to give any food away and always has a cracker or something in her hand. even if she isn't hungry. this is understandable, considering she probably wasn't fed enough. she is actually already getting better about this. i think she is starting to understand that we will always feed her.

she doesn't like to share toys either. if ryan tries to play something with her that she is already playing with, she will scream and usually hit him. we're working on this!

my biggest struggle has been with logistics. how does one carry two one year olds with a gigantic belly in between them? or, better yet. how do you get one toddler to keep their shoes on while you put shoes on the other? another one....how do you pick up your preschooler or kindergartener from school without breaking into a sweat or loosing a child. i know things will get even crazier when i am trying to carry a carseat around with an infant in it. it's all learning by experience.

i am also pretty tired. i don't have much energy to chase around all these kids right now. that, i know, will get better once this baby is born.

so, for the most part, i am just trying to find a schedule and routine that works for us. morning time and night time seem to be the hardest right now. and, getting the two little ones to nap at the same time would be helpful too :) i know this will all take time. for the most part, i think things are going really well and veronica seems really happy. i am listening to her and ryan giggle together at nothing in particular.

life is good.

veronica comes home.....

2010-05-02T19:55:00.013-04:00

as i follow other kazakhstan adoption blogs, i am always dying to read the blog update about the homecoming. it usually takes a few days after i know the family should be home. the wait drives me crazy! but, now, i understand! i completely understand why getting to the blog is nearly impossible the first couple days.

so....where do i even begin?

friday, the boys and i woke up and were super excited for the day! i looked at the clock, like i had been for the past two days, and figured out where keith and veronica would be at that moment. i dressed the boys in their "big brother" shirts and tj was off to school.

the day actually went by really quickly. i was busy getting the house ready. and, it was an absolutely beautiful day, so we spent some time outside playing.

at 3:00, the car was packed with snacks, big (and little) brother and sister gifts, balloons, and tons of activities to keep the boys busy at the airport for what i had anticipated might be a long wait for keith and veronica. we picked tj up from school and it was off to the airport.

about halfway to the airport, the traffic started. unbelievable traffic. it lasted for over ten miles. i thought i had given us enough time to get to the airport. i factored in an extra hour if not more, so we could get there and get settled. well, the traffic took up all that buffer time. i was silently panicking. this was not how i envisioned this moment to be. i was angry, upset, but mostly disappointed.

but once again....synchronicity.....

the boys, keith's mom and i were walking into the international waiting area. i thought i might go into labor at that moment, considering i was pretty much jogging and pushing a double stroller. we walked in, spotted keith's grandfather and aunt, and then saw keith coming through the doors. unbelievable! i quickly ripped the camera out of the case, snapped a picture, and began crying.....

i tried to pick veronica up and hold her, but she still wanted her papa, understandable. keith held her and introduced her to the boys. they were just so happy to meet her. tj kept saying how cute she was and andrew kept saying "i love ronica!"

it only took a few minutes for veronica to warm up to the boys. they all shared a muffin (thanks to keith's aunt melissa!) and they were off running around and chasing each other. i couldn't even believe how well they were all getting along. veronica just jumped right into their usual games and craziness. :) the waiting area was absolutely perfect! it was an enclosed, wide open room with several round couches. there were very few people there, so we kind of took over the place. i'm sure veronica was happy to run around after being on the plane and the boys were happy to be playing with their sister finally. we actually stayed right in that room for at least a half hour and let the kids play. it was such a joy to see.

veronica was still taking her time warming up to me. at one point, she fell down, so i picked her up. she started to resist me like before. so, i started humming the song that i would sing to her when we were in kaz. it was as if she all of a sudden realized who i was. she eyes opened a little wider with recognition, and she put her head on my shoulder. and, that was all it took. i was on cloud nine....

our family together at last.....

leaving the airport, andrew asked me, "mommy, can we bring ronica home forever?"

because of the unfortunate traffic, my brother and sister-in-law didn't make it to the airport in time. so, we decided to meet them for dinner. we went to a perfect diner. we were in the back, so we could take up a lot of room and pretty much make a spectacle of ourselves. veronica met uncle matt, aunt mandy and cousin zeke.....

it was so special to have my family and keith's family there with us at the airport and at dinner. we decided to make april 30th our "forever family" day. there was talk about returning to the silver diner as a tradition....we'll see.

the car ride how wasn't quite as fun. veronica did not like the carseat at first. she didn't want to be strapped in. i think it scared her. they don't use carseats in kazakhstan, not that she has had much experience with cars anyway. and, we had a lot of tired, yet over excited kids. i sat in the third row between tj and andrews boosters, but had one hand holding ryan's hand in front of me and the other holding veronica's hand to the other side in front of me. we stayed like this for the entire hour and a half. it was really late for the boys, 10:00 by the time we got home. so, there were several meltdowns on the ride home. veronica however, slept for a bit. when she woke up, she was wide awake, making silly noises and laughing.

when we got home, the boys got a second wind....great. they wanted to show veronica her new home. we decided to just introduce her to the livingroom and her bedroom. we sat up in her bedroom for another half hour. we played with some of her toys and got all the kids ready for bed. tj and andrew went to bed pretty quickly and ryan went to bed shortly after.

veronica on the other hand was wide awake, so keith and i brought her back down to the livingroom and decided to introduce her to the dogs. i had expected this to go badly. after all, these are large, furry creatures that she has never had contact with before. but, again, little miss veronica surprised me. the dogs are really good with kids, so i wasn't worried about them hurting her. they sat down near her and she jumped up, smiling and started touching them and talking to them. she even yanked on optimus' ear pretty hard and the dog just let her. oddly enough, she really likes the dogs.

not too long after, we decided that we needed to put veronica to bed in order to try to get her adjusted to our time. we attempted to put her in the toddler bed, but that didn't go well. she just got right out over and over again. so, smart keith, went and got the pack-n-play. she went in that really easily. she cried for just a few minutes and then she was out. we figure we will work on the bed once she is a bit more adjusted to out timezone let alone everything else she needs to settle into. and, she did really well during the night! she didn't wake up one time! i, on the other hand, was up all night waiting for something to happen :)

we really could not have asked for things to go better. well, maybe the traffic thing, but veronica and the boys were such troopers. i will remember this day forever! what a day!

i'll be back tomorrow to let you know how the first few days are going. there have been moments of chaos, but so many moments of joy. i can't wait to share them with you.....when i'm not so tired :)

a LONG day.....

2010-04-29T20:19:00.003-04:00

this is going to be one long day for keith and veronica!

they woke up at their usual time and called us at home. i could hear that veronica was a happy little lady eating her applesauce and cereal. after breakfast, keith a mike took the kids for a walk down to an old church. mostly, it was just for something to do. remember, though, we forgot to send keith with a stroller, so he has been carrying veronica everywhere. today, the last day, he realized purchasing an umbrella stroller might be a good idea. he decided this after his three mile journey. he looked in a children's store, but the cheap umbrella strollers we have are not so cheap there. $120! so, the driver said that he would go to a market and pick up a cheap stroller for keith so he could at least have one for travel.

after their walk, keith went back to the hotel and put veronica down for a nap. he made sure that she was going to get her nap today, because they have a long night ahead of them. he tried to get a little sleep in also, but it didn't last too long.

at 3:00, the driver picked them up to bring them to the embassy to get all their paperwork. keith said it was a quick visit, maybe a half hour. he got veronica's passport and visa, a bunch of other documents, and a sealed envelope that he is forbidden to open and must hand over to immigration when he gets to the us.

on the way back from the embassy, the driver stopped at a money exchange place so keith could give him money for the $20 stroller. keith jumped out of the car, leaving veronica in the car with mike and his son and the driver. keith said veronica went absolutely crazy! crying and crying and crying. hmmmmm. makes me wonder how she is going to do when she comes home and has to share her papa! she has had keith all to herself and doesn't know any different. even when we were there, she had both of us all to herself. i don't know how she is going to react when she sees keith paying attention to the boys. i guess we will find out :)

after the embassy, they grabbed dinner and went back to the hotel to try to get a few hours of sleep.

the driver picked them up at 11:50pm so they could all be at the airport at midnight for their 2am flight to frankfurt. luckily, when i checked in on keith's flight a day or two ago, i made sure he was in a seat that had an empty seat next to him. so hopefully, that seat didn't get booked and keith can put veronica in it instead of on his lap for the 9 hour flight.

when he arrives in frankfurt, he has a 7 hour layover. luckily, he now has a stroller. he is also going to be waiting in the airport with the two other american families. so, hopefully the time will pass quickly.

for his second flight, i was able to book him in a bulkhead seat. so, he should have more leg room and some room in front of him on the floor for veronica to move around and play. after another 9 hours, he will be home.

i am praying that all of this travel will go smoothly for him. it can't be fun at all. and i am sure it's not going to be easy. but, keith is doing an amazing job with veronica and it will all be over soon.

the four of us at home can not wait to see them! we go to pick them up at 5pm tomorrow. my brother, sister-in-law and nephew, along with my mother-in-law are coming to the airport with me and the boys. it is going to be such an amazing moment to see keith and veronica and to have my family all together. i'm super emotional when i think about it. and i am really glad that i am going to have some of my family there for this special moment.

so, stay tuned.....my next post will hopefully have some great pictures and a sweet story to go along with it.

the skyride

2010-04-28T08:39:00.004-04:00

keith and veronica had a fun day in almaty today.....

they woke up at their usual time of about 6:30am and keith called me on skype. this works nicely for me, becuase i get to talk to keith after the boys are in bed. this lets me really hear about how things are going. keith said things continue to go really well. it is almost surprising to him how happy veronica is. while we were talking, i could hear veronica's little giggles in the background. keith was feeding her applesauce and she was so happy about it she was laughing!

after we talked, they went down for breakfast. keith said between the time she woke up and about 10:30, she ate SO much food. keith is careful to monitor her food intake, due to overeating and hoarding. he wants to make sure she doesn't get sick. but, at the same time, she is clearly hungry! and none of the foods she has eaten have upset her stomach at all, so he continues to feed her healthy foods. i think she may have eaten more than keith for breakfast :) she had a yogurt, apple sauce, 1/2 and omelet, 3 pieces of bread, pieces of an apple, numerous cheerios, 2 bananas, 3 pieces of cheese, and 4 pieces of ham. holy cow! that was over a four hour stretch, but wow! i can't even imagine her fitting all of that food into her little body!

after breakfast, the walked to the food store to get some water and some fruit. the weather continues to be beautiful there. what a blessing! it is really allowing them to get out and walk around a lot.

at noon, keith and veronica joined the other two american families and they headed for the skyride. while keith was buying the tickets, veronica was running around with one of the other little boys and fell down some stairs. keith said she only cried for about 10 seconds and then she was fine. they took the skyride up the mountain. keith said it was fun, but veronica didn't really care about it. when they got to the top, they went to a little playground. unfortunately, it was veronica's nap time, so she didn't really seem interested in playing. they went to lunch at a restaurant that overlooked almaty. keith said the view was really great, but the food was not. veroncia feel asleep on keith's lap for about 10 minutes. i guess she was pretty tired.....and not that hungry from all the food she ate that morning.

after lunch, they returned to the hotel. keith decided not to give her another nap because it was already 4pm by that time. he didn't want mess up her nighttime sleeping. so they played for a bit in the hotel room before heading out for dinner.

keith and mike took the kids to a little pub for dinner. keith said veronica was misbehaving. it's the first time since he has gotten her. but, he said she was over tired and just really whiny since she missed her nap. she settled down after a while and fell asleep instantly when they got back to the hotel.

keith said the only time that veronica seems to get fussy or antsy is when they go to a restaurant and she has to sit on keith's lap for a while (she still is afraid of the highchair). this should make for an interesting plane ride home! hopefully she will be so tired that she will sleep most of the time.

the good news from home is that i think this baby is staying put until daddy comes home. i went to the doctor yesterday and i am still only 1 cm. dilated....same as last week. no progress this whole week! i think the doctor was afraid to tell me that i was the same and was surprised when i replied with..."that is fantastic news!" i guess they don't expect women to want to go longer than expected :)

i can't believe we only have two days left! i am getting so excited to see keith and veronica. these days seem to be passing so slowly, but my family and friends continue to help me out. last night, keith's mom came over for dinner and tonight the famous dean is coming to keep me company.

we are almost there!!

spring cleaning or extreme nesting?

2010-04-27T09:34:00.006-04:00

i talked to keith again this morning. things are continuing to go really well. he says that when it is just him and veronica in the hotel room playing, she is very animated. makes her usual noises. laughs. gets into things and causes trouble around the room. she likes to go through all her clothes and try to take off her clothes and put different ones on. i'm sure she never had a variety of clothes to play with. but, when they go out in public, she is definitely different. she is very quiet and shy. she wants to be held by keith and he says she grabs onto him really tight. she is still a bit afraid and unsure of everything around her. but, the great thing is that she is clinging to keith for protection and comfort. we really couldn't ask for anything better.

she is definitely interested in food! keith has been giving her cereal whenever she wants it. only a handful at a time. but, he is just trying to get her used to the idea that she will always have enough food with us and that she doesn't have to over eat or hoard food when she sees it. i know this will be an issue and a process we will have to get through. but, i am sure she will learn to trust that she will always be given enough.

today, they had a down day. they didn't do much. after they woke up they went down to breakfast. again, keith had to monitor what veronica ate. after breakfast they went back up to the room and played for a bit. they ventured out to a park for a little bit to walk around and get some fresh air. i still can't believe the weather is so beautiful there. it's in the 40's and raining here! go figure! keith grabbed some lunch and they headed back to the hotel for veronica's nap. she is still having a bit of a hard time going down to sleep. i think it is because she just wants constant comforting from keith. but, it's a good thing we have other kids and know the benefits of "tough love" :) after a while of rocking her himself, he puts her in the crib and lets her cry for just a few minutes. it doesn't take her long to start sucking her thumb and she falls asleep. luckily, keith got to nap a little too.

for dinner, they met up with our friends michael and his son, and the other american family that was with us the entire first trip. they have two older girls and are adopting three children! a six year old, three year old and one year old! they all went to a little noodle restaurant. keith said veronica was really good. she wouldn't sit in a high chair though, and preferred keith's lap. she ate some of keith's noodles, a lot of the mushrooms in the pasta, and some french fries. keith said that even if she didn't want more food, she always wanted to have something (usually a french fry) in her hand. just making sure she had food in case she wanted it. keith also said that veronica did well with all the other kids that were there. she seemed to remember the two older girls with the other family and let them hold her and play with her. overall, keith said that today was a really good day.

things at home seem to be going in slow motion. i mean, could this week go any slower? the boys are so excited to meet their sister. tj has been such a HUGE help around the house getting things ready and being the big brother. tj understands everything that is going on. he is planning veronica and keith's big welcome home party (the one with just the 6 of us).

andrew is really starting to understand too. whenever veronica's name comes up, he says..."ronica is my sister!" he has asked a few funny questions. the other day he said, "if ronica is my sister, who is going to be tj's sister?" i had to explain that we all get to share her :) and on the way home from the airport he asked me if veronica likes flowers. i ventured a guess and said yes. he said..."then we have to go home and plant a garden so ronica can have flowers!" yup, planting a garden is just want i need to do right now, haha.

i am a little worried about how ryan is going to adjust. there may be some jealousy issues there. especially with the addition of veronica AND a new baby. ryan did not like me holding my nephew zeke last night, or my friend's baby the other day. so, it might be the hardest transition for mr. ryan.

as for me, i have been nesting to the extreme. either that, or the nice weather last week kicked me into spring cleaning. i am not sure which it is. i know it is typical when you are expecting to want to get things ready. you know, washing bottles, getting clothes ready, cleaning a bit here and there. but i have gone crazy! maybe because i am "expecting" two times over. i am pretty sure that neither veronica nor the new baby are going to care if all the curtains are washed or the inside of the refrigerator is clean, or the couches are vacuumed and every floor is mopped. but these are things i have been finding myself doing. if i see one bit of laundry, i wash it. there are no dishes in my sink. each bed has clean sheets and is made every morning. why? i have had to slow down a lot though in order to not go into labor while keith is gone.

and, it's not just me! before keith left, he was going crazy too! he decided that we needed a stone entryway by our backdoor. (which he actually finished really quickly and it looks great). he also decided to build the boys an arcade. yup! we now have an in process club house for the kids. it's huge! i actually don't mind it though, because it will house all the arcade games we have in the house. yes! and, the guy who is helping keith build it is doing it for free. so, what more can we ask for.

we finished ryan and veronica's room before keith left. here are some pictures....

so, that's it for today. tomorrow should bring on more waiting for us here and some more adventures for keith and veronica over in kaz.

a warm welcome

2010-04-26T08:53:00.006-04:00

things are going so much better for keith than i envisioned. i am so happy and thankful for this. he has internet and i got an email from him early this morning. we also got to skype a couple times before he was off to bed. his computer doesn't have video, so we couldn't see him or veronica. but the boys and i could hear her little giggles and "talking" in the background. i just put the biggest smile on my face. i asked tj what he thought of her little voice and he said "she sounds a lot more girlish than ryan." haha.

keith said his flights were pretty uneventful. we were told he would be getting the bulkhead or exit row by our "outstanding" travel agent, but no such luck. he said the flights were really packed. i am sure this is due to all of the rebooking going along with the volcanic ash. all of his flights were on time though. he had a 6 hour layover in frankfurt. he said he napped on the benches because he hadn't slept on the flight.

when keith got to the airport in almaty, there was a driver waiting for him. he was taken to his hotel where he met up with one of the coordinators. he had to sign some papers for the embassy. it was then he was told that our friend michael had veronica in his room. so, they had to call michael, wake him up, and go get veronica. luckily, keith was able to transfer veronica to their room without waking her up! keith said he was able to finally fall asleep around 3 am and woke up around 6 thinking veronica would be up shortly. but, our good little lady actually slept until about 7.

here comes the best part! when she woke up, she stood up in her crib and saw keith. she stood up and started laughing and saying papa! both keith and i had expected her to be startled and upset. we didn't think she would remember him. but she did! keith said it was a great feeling. when i heard this, it brought tears to my eyes. i knew she loved keith, but this was just amazing to me.

i packed him some puffs to give to her and he said she LOVED them. she just kept eating them until he had to take them away. he said she loved that she had her own food that she could hold on her own. keith dressed her and they got ready to meet michael down at breakfast. unfortunately, a lot of the clothes i packed for her are too big. and too warm. it's in the 80's and sunny there!! can you believe it?!?! so unfair! :) at breakfast, veronica wanted to eat a lot of food. keith really has to monitor how much she is eating or i think she would eat herself sick. he gave her some oatmeal and a little bit of cheese, which she loved!

after breakfast, she had a dirty diaper. at exactly the time she would have been on the potty at the baby house. keith brought her back up the room and they played for a little bit before heading to the doctor for her physical. keith said she is adjusting really well. she played really nicely and was content and happy the whole time.

not so much with the doctor though! she didn't like the medical exam at all! she did not want the doctor touching her. she kept looking to keith for comfort. again, a really great sign! the doctor said she was healthy. she is in the 30% for height, but the 5% for weight. he said she needs more calorie intake. but, after being home for about a month and eating more, she should gain weight.

after the doctor, they grabbed some lunch at the local doner restaurant and brought it back to the hotel. keith put veronica down for a nap. he said she didn't want to sleep. she would cry for a second and then sit there silently. this went on for a little bit. he went into the bathroom to be out of her sight and she fell asleep. he said she sucks her thumb and rocks herself for comfort.

after her nap, we talked on skype. we could hear her playing in the background. she seems happy. and keith seems to be in good spirits also. he said the time difference hasn't been that bad. give him a day or two :)

keith and mike went out to dinner with the two kids. i am sure that dinner took on a whole different dynamic that the dinners we were used to having together. they went to an outdoor pizza restaurant. the seating area was fenced in, so keith let veronica walk around an explore. he said it was a lot of fun to see her exploring everything and observing different things. she really liked looking at all the plants.

they got back to the hotel around 8. keith rocked her in bed for a while and when she had fallen asleep, he tried to put her in the crib. that didn't go very well. she woke up immediately and started crying for him. he let her cry a little bit and soon she found her thumb, and rocked herself to sleep. he said she loves the empty puffs container! she has been carrying it around with her all day and now she is sleeping with it. her hand is in it all the way up to her elbow :)

here at home, my wonderful friends and family are taking good care of me once again. my awesome friend, lisi, has offered to drive tj to and from school this week so i don't have to take all the boys out. my brother and sister-in-law are coming over for dinner tonight. and i am just trying to sit as much as possible and keep this baby in until keith gets home.

keith arrived in kaz.....

2010-04-25T15:57:00.006-04:00

i just got a text from keith. he doesn't have internet yet, so this was the only way he could get in touch with me. he said he arrived safely and already has veronica. apparently, the escort that took veronica from her orphanage in ust to almaty left her with one of our friends that was picking up his 11 month old son! oh my goodness!

first of all, poor michael! (our friend that we spent all of our time in kaz with) he is a first time parent and there alone picking up his son. now, he was responsible for not only his child, but another 22 month old who doesn't know him or speak english! he had veronica until 2:30 in the morning when keith arrived at the airport.

second, poor keith! he gets off a plane after more than 24 hours of traveling and now has to take care of his probably scared to death and exhausted daughter who he thought he was going to see bright eyed in the morning. i feel so badly that keith has to do this alone. i wish i could be with him. i am so proud of him! i know that is probably a little corny, but he has proven to me what an amazing dad and faithful man he is. ok, enough mushiness. remember, i am super emotional right now.

and, finally, poor veronica! i have not been able to stop thinking about her all day. her life just got turned completely upside down today. today, she was taken from the only home she has ever known. she was taken from the only family she has ever known. she left her friends, her mamas, her toys, her bed, everything that is familiar to her. i am sad for her even though i know this will be so good for her. then, she was brought by an unfamiliar person onto a plane! this is the little girl who has never been outside the orphanage, except for when she was first brought there. she went with this stranger, into a car (which i am sure she has never seen before), and then onto a big, loud plane. if that wasn't enough for one day, this stranger leaves her with another stranger who has another baby with him. i am hoping she felt a little comforted by the fact that michael's son was there too. now, fast forward eight hours and in the middle of the night....if any of them were able to fall asleep....she is awakened to go meet her papa. i am hoping that seeing keith was comforting to her, but to be honest, i am sure she was a little scared of him too. it has been five weeks since she has seen him. does she even remember him?

i hope that now, both keith and veronica are somewhat settled in their hotel room. i am hoping that they have both gone through so much that they are able to rest. i hope that keith is able comfort veronica quickly and make her feel safe just like he did when we were with her in march. i pray that all of this will soon be a distant memory for veronica and that these hard changes she is going through now will be replaced with a feeling of overwhelming love from keith and from all of us when she gets home.

here is a picture of keith and veronica from our first trip. daddy and his little girl.....

and he's off.....

2010-04-24T16:47:00.008-04:00

keith left today for his return to kazakhstan. he should arrive in almaty at 12:05am monday morning....yuck! it will only be around 2pm our time, but it's still a long trip!

it has been a crazy two days here for us. keith has been busy tying up loose ends here with projects and business stuff before he left. although it is only a week he will be gone, he is pretty unreachable. so, there was a lot he needed to do.

we had our last "family of 5" dinner together last night. we ordered pizza and had our traditionally celebratory sparkling cider in wine glasses. the boys get such a kick out of it.

this morning, we all went to tj's tball game and then the real chaos began. keith was running around so much. i'm hoping he gets some rest on the plane. unfortunately, amongst all the rushing, he forgot his jacket in the car, we left the umbrella stroller at home, and i forgot to pack the camera cable for him. so no pictures of miss veronica until they get home.....boo! i am sure there are other things missed or forgotten that i just haven't thought of yet.

call me a wimp, but i miss keith already. luckily, he doesn't travel for work, or alone for fun for that matter. so, we aren't used to being apart for more that a night or two. and, i've gotta say, i don't like it here without him.

the boys aren't thrilled about him leaving either. i don't think andrew understands that this trip isn't going to be nearly as long as our first trip. he really didn't want keith to go. he thought we were all going to the airport to get veronica, not leave daddy there (even though we repeatedly told him what was happening). i just keep reminding him that it is only a couple days this time. tj on the other hand, is so mature with his thinking about daddy having to leave again. when i asked him if he is missing daddy, he said....."i know that he has to go so that veronica can come home." he's already planning the banner we are going to bring to the airport.

so, that's the latest for now. as soon as keith arrives and gets veronica he is going to email me updates to share on the blog.

right now, we are just praying for safe travels and for everything to run smoothly....synchronicity!

travel update....

2010-04-22T20:11:00.002-04:00

we had a little change of plans today. surprisingly enough, it has nothing to do with the crazy volcanic ash. which, by the way, had us concerned for a few days. keith has to fly through frankfurt. and, like much of the european airports, it was closed for a week. luckily, it reopened on tuesday and so far there haven't been any delays with his flight. i mean really...volcanic ash?

no, this change has once again to do with the embassy. turns out that keith has to extend his trip by two days. so, instead of returning on wednesday, he and veronica will be home next friday.

if i weren't 38 weeks pregnant, i wouldn't mind this change of plans. of course it isn't thrilling to think of a whole week alone with the boys (considering i can't bend or walk up stairs without having to take a break). and two more days for keith in kazakhstan isn't such a grand thing either. but, what is starting to worry me is the fact that my due date is fast approaching. keith getting home on friday means only one week before my due date. i'm trying to remember to trust God and His timing....i am. i even reread my post on "synchronicity". but, to be honest, i had a cry, or two, or three today. it makes me really sad to think that keith might miss this baby's birth. and, on top of that, i just really want veronica home!

please pray that there are no more delays with keith and veronica's return. and also, that baby #5 stays comfortably settled in my belly until they do get home.

i wasn't kidding when i said this adoption journey was going to be a test of faith! right up to the very end.

synchronicity

2010-04-16T10:22:00.005-04:00

synchronicity-
The state or fact of being synchronous or simultaneous; synchronism.
Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related.

the morning keith and i left for kazakhstan, keith's mom prayed with us. when she was praying, the word synchronicity kept coming to her. throughout our trip, she would continue to pray for synchronicity.

i really believe that God has synchronized all the events of this process perfectly. most of the time, i didn't understand the timing of the things that were happening. but, looking back and even looking forward, i can see it so clearly.

the homestudy that i thought was taking too long, the paperwork that seemed to take forever to process, the waiting for this or that, all of it lined up perfectly to bring us to this sweet little girl who is now our daughter. i don't think any of this happened by chance. i believe God had veronica picked to be in our family from the very beginning. all of these details, were just to get us to her.

all of God's timing just fit so perfectly into place for traveling and while we where in kazakhstan. we were able to travel right up to the very last minute that my doctor would permit me to fly. the court date fell on the perfect date we needed...before another holiday and long weekend in kazakhstan. we were able to get onto an early flight than we had previously booked in order for us to be home for tj's birthday.

God synchronized all of these things! we trusted and prayed for God's timing, and He was faithful.

so, now, we are continuing to pray for synchronicity as keith travels back to pick up veronica. he leaves on april 24th and is planning to return on april 28th. my due date is may 8th. i have gone a little more than a week early with two of the boys. so, we are putting our trust in God again, that keith will be home for the birth of baby #5. i am pretty at peace about this. i know God has had His hand in all of this since the beginning. none of it has been coincidence or an accident. i am confident that He knows what is best for our family. it's either put my trust and faith in God, or completely panic. i think i'll choose the first :)

easter and updates

2010-04-09T20:28:00.010-04:00

i have been a terrible blogger lately. i really have no excuse...other than i am completely exhausted. after running after a 17 month old, 3 year old and 6 year old all day, then finally getting them off to bed, my body gives up on me and i have to go right to bed myself. i have gotten to the point in this pregnancy when i can no longer bend over, get out of breath climbing stairs, and standing for too long makes my ankles swell. good times.

anyway, last week marked the end of the 15 day appeal period! and the great news is....no appeals :) at this point, the in country coordinators can start to process veronica's passport and various other papers they need to have done for the embassy. to be honest, i wasn't too concerned about the appeal period. there was a time in this process when i was. but, God has given me a lot of peace lately about this adoption, so i was feeling good that there wouldn't be any road blocks.

our tentative plan from here on out is for keith to fly back to almaty the weekend of april 24th. he will meet up with veronica on sunday. an escort will be bringing her from ust to almaty. keith will take veronica to the medical clinic and to the embassy on monday and tuesday. then, if everything goes smoothly, he can return home with veronica on wednesday. one nice thing about the trip, is that the other families we met during our trip will be in almaty the same time. so, keith will have the company of our friends during his stay. it will be an exhausting trip and an even more exhausting plane ride home. keith will have veronica on his lap. so, any little plane ride tricks for a 21 month old would be greatly appreciated :) we are really hoping for a really fast trip. and, we are really praying for baby #5 to stay put until he gets home.

we don't have any contact with veronica now. i think about her all the time. we talk to the boys about her constantly. i miss her. but, i am not worried about her. i know she is in the good hands that have cared for her for the past year and a half. i know she is being loved and reminded about her mama and papa. at the same time, though, i can't wait until she is home and we are the ones loving her and caring for her. and she will no longer have to be reminded about us....she will be with us forever.

here is a picture of our silly little girl...

things here at home have been moving right along. we are almost finished with ryan and veronica's new bedroom. i'll have pictures soon. next...the nursery.

we had a really nice easter. the weather was beautiful!

the day started with an easter egg hunt inside and outside our house. and, of course some fun easter baskets.....

the morning continued with an amazing sermon on hope at our church. it was really touching and meaningful. after church, we headed to our good friends house for yummy food and, of course, another easter egg hunt....

for dinner, we had a small dinner with my sister, mimi, and our other good friends...

it was a really special day spent with people who mean a lot to us.

passing the days....

2010-03-31T09:14:00.006-04:00

it has been about a week and a half since we got home. time is flying! little miss veronica is going to be here before we know it.

we have been super busy with birthday parties and getting our house ready for the arrival of two new ones.

last monday was tj's 6th birthday. i can't believe how big this guy is getting. i think he may have grown a foot while we were gone. not only that, but he is into such big boy stuff now. he really has taken on the role of oldest child. he is a big help to me around the house and with his brothers. i am so proud of him.

since we were still jet lagged on tj's actual birthday, and keith was still pretty sick, we just had our traditional "fancy" dinner with the five of us.

then, this past weekend, when we were all finally feeling back to normal, we had his family dinner with uncle matt, aunt mandy, baby zeke, my sister katie (gooey) and her boyfriend (scottie so hottie) and keith's mom.

besides celebrating mr. tj, we have been getting the house ready. this is more than just nesting. have to change every bedroom. tj and andrew moved downstairs to their new bedroom, ryan is going to move to tj and andrew's old bedroom with veronica, and ryan's old room will remain the nursery for baby #5. whew!!!

we have finished tj and andrew's new room. they moved down there two nights ago and they love it! we put a tv down there (no cable box, just for movies) and we have been having movie nights in their beds. they LOVE it.

we still have a lot to do. next project is ryan and veronica's room.

coming home has also meant coming back to reality and responsibilities....other than family. keith has been back to dealing with all the "stuff" that goes along with owning and renting houses. most of which we are trying to sell. the infamous "ust cough" that he came home with turned out to be bronchitis. so, he has been struggling with that while getting back to the grind. he is also back to work. luckily, he likes his job and the people he works with :) i have been trying to catch up on bills, household stuff, getting back to tutoring and getting stuff ready for keith's trip back to get veronica. i have been terrible with responding to calls and emails. please forgive me. i feel like i forgot how to function in the real world.

so that's how we have been passing the days this past week and a half. we think about and talk about veronica every day. the boys are so excited about having her home. our 15 day appeal period is almost over! only about 4 weeks left!

thank you doesn't seem like enough.....

2010-03-25T10:08:00.004-04:00

there she is.....

SUPERMOM!

it's not everyday you go from being a single, twenty something gal to a single mom of three boys overnight. but that is exactly what dean...aka supermom...did. what do you say to the person who cared for, loved, worried about, sacrificed for, and treated as her own for almost four weeks. "thank you" just doesn't seem enough.

dean dealt with the stomach flu, a lost tooth, tantrums, boo boos, missing mommy and daddy, homework, daily skype dates, milk money, pizza money, book club money, playgrounds, playdates, holidays....you name it, she did it! i am hoping that she got her fair share of hugs and snuggles and "i love you's" too.

we are so thankful for dean. i have known her for her entire life. we grew up together. and i am so blessed to have her in my life and my boys life. she was the absolute perfect person to be with the boys.

thankfully, she had a lot of help!

there he is....

the fill-in daddy! poor mike didn't know he signed on to the position, but he sure made an impression on the boys. andrew is absolutely in love with "uncle mike". he tells me so all the time. and he even named his dinosaur after him :)

i am so humbled by how our friends and family really rallied around our family to help and support us. my boys got loved on so much! there are so many people to thank, that i am afraid i'll miss people. but, we had friends driving tj and andrew to school, signing andrew up for a craft class, taking the boys out for ice cream and special activities, taking the boys for playdates, buying them little presents. friends came by at night to help put them to bed. a friend brought over flowers and a balloon for tj when he was sick. we had friends stay with the boys on the weekends and do super fun things like an air guitar contest, the liberty science center and making homemade pizza and ice cream. friends brought over food and dinner. friends came over to play with the boys so dean could have a break. family checked in on the boys constantly, either by spending time with them, calling on the phone or by skype. not to mention the friends that live far away, calling the boys and sending them mail and sweets.

and, then there was the constant blog comments, emails, facebook messages of encouragement that keith and i got while we were away. some from friends we know in person and others from other adoptive families who truly understood what we were going through. i am so thankful for all of these!

i am so touched by all the love our family received. i really didn't know the entire scope of it until i got home. i am so thankful to be part of a community of people who show practical love in this way. and i am so glad my boys got to witness it first hand. god provided for our family through all these wonderful people. it really is amazing!

so, i know "thank you" is not enough for all of our friends and family. but, please know that you all have touched my heart in a big way.

day 26 and 27- from snow boots to flip flops

2010-03-23T08:29:00.005-04:00

i know, i have fallen drastically behind with blogging. i have been in a constant state of jet lagged fogginess. i am not adjusting very well to the time change this way. it's even hard for me to hold a normal conversation, so please forgive me. it will be interesting to see if this post is even coherent :)

i realize my last post was a bit brief. i only had about 5 minutes in the hotel to write it before we had to check out. so, i was really rushed. but, just to clarify...no, the judge didn't realize i was pregnant :) i wore the only dress i brought (a maternity dress), but i didn't tie the string in the back. i also wore a big black cardigan over it. i held my folder at my side and kept my winter scarf hung around my neck, which covered my belly. i wouldn't say it was one of my most glamorous moments, but it worked. it also helped that i had to keep leaning forward to hear our translator, so i could hide it even more. success! :)

right after court, and checking out of the hotel, we headed for the ust airport. we got there around one and found out we had a slight delay. not a huge deal, but the airport is super small. so, we spend two hours sitting on the floor. once again, when we went through security, i got stopped. i had to sign some papers letting the airline know i was pregnant and ok to fly. the flight was short and uneventful. i was still so relieved and pretty much on cloud 9, so nothing could get me down.

we arrived in almaty around dinner time and decided just to stay at the hotel next to the airport. it is more of a hostel. there is a community bathroom, and we had two twin boards to sleep on....i mean beds. we didn't sleep well at all. i think it was a combination of knowing we had to get up early, knowing we were going home, and the beds.

we headed over to the airport at 6am. our original flight itinerary was to fly to amsterdam, 4 hour layover, fly to london, one hour layover, fly home. that morning, we found out that the flight to amsterdam was overbooked. so, they put us on a different flight directly to london. this worked out great because i was a little nervous about missing that london flight with only a one hour layover. and, that would be the absolute worst flight to miss!

both flights were fine. my headphones didn't work on the first flight which was a bummer considering i was awake for the entire time. but, we had the emergency exit row again, so long legs could stretch out. the second flight was the middle of the night for us, so we slept almost the entire time. we landed around 10:30pm on friday and my brother met us at the airport to pick us up. just seeing his car (before i even saw him) was so comforting. seeing something familiar made me so happy to be home. i was so excited to see him! i don't think i stopped smiling the whole drive home.

we got home around 11:30. dean and amanda were there to greet us. i can't tell you how good it felt to walk up to our front door and see familiar faces.....even though i was pretty delirious at that point. i wanted to wake the boys, but the mommy in me decided not to. i did go in a peek in on them. what a beautiful sight!

all night (since i was now wide awake) i wanted the boys to wake up. it was the first time, and probably the last, that i wanted to hear a middle of the night cry. finally, i got one! ryan woke up around 4am and started fussing. it took me about 3 seconds to get to his bedroom. when he saw me at first, he stopped crying, and had a very quizzical look on his face. clearly he was expecting dean. i brought him in to be with me so he could fall back asleep. he was confused for a good 5 minutes. he wouldn't look at me in the eyes. he kept sneaking peeks at me, but would then look away. when he finally understood who i was, he started giggling. i couldn't stop smiling. we snuggled for the rest of the night.

when the boys woke up at 6:30, i was still awake. as soon as i heard their footsteps, i ran out of our room. andrew turned around and saw me and said "mommy....you came home!". then he ran to me and gave me a big hug. tj heard what andrew said and ran out of the bathroom and gave me a big squeeze. he told me later that he loves me more when i am home with him.

unfortunately, keith came home with a 102 fever. he may have caught it on the plane, or right before we left. so, he spent saturday, sunday, and most of monday in bed. the boys would keep going up to visit him. especially ryan. he giggled every time he saw keith.

the boys and i spent most of saturday outside. it is gorgeous here! well, today it's raining, but the weekend was absolutely beautiful! we were in t-shirts and flip flops. what a welcome home!

part of me feels like i never left and part of me feels like i was gone for an eternity. ryan is doing so many more things. he is talking more and doing funny little things. i think andrew had the hardest time missing us. he didn't want to go to church on sunday because he didn't want to leave daddy. and when i put him in sunday school he said, "mommy don't go!" over and over. he did the same thing when i brought him to school today. it will just take a while to get back to normal. tj is like a big kid to me now. i love seeing him with his "window" where his tooth is missing. he had a lot to show me and tell me.

i did all the things i was really wanting to do when i got home....
- i hugged, hugged and hugged the boys! (but that is obvious)
- i had spaghetti and meatballs
- i took off my winter boots! ahhhhh and put on flip flops even.
- i wore a different outfit than the four i had been wearing for a month.
- i did laundry in my washer and dryer instead of my bathroom sink....i will never take soft clothes for granted again!
- i took a shower in my own bathroom. and, the water stayed one consistent temperature the entire time!
- i slept in my own bed.
- i brewed real coffee and drank a lot of it.
- took advantage of high speed internet. i even uploaded pictures in less than a minute...instead of a half an hour!
- i saw a lot of family and friends at church who i missed a lot.

we have been talking about veronica a lot. the boys are excited to meet her. keith and i keep making little jokes about what she is doing...the same way we would about the boys. what a strange feeling it is to have a daughter that is halfway around the world! i miss her. but, we have a lot to do to prepare for little miss veronica's homecoming. and to get ready for baby #5, too. so, i am hoping these next few weeks go by really fast. but, at the same time, i am soaking up every little minute with my boys.

today keith is back to work and i am back being a full time mommy. it's weird being away from keith. it's the first day in a month we haven't spent every minute together. i kind of miss him :)

but, i am loving my life right now. home really is the best place on earth!

happy birthday "little man"

2010-03-22T17:36:00.005-04:00

happy 6th birthday to my big boy, TJ !!

i am so glad to be home celebrating with him! i can't believe he is 6! what a very special guy!

day 24 and 25- goodbyes and court

2010-03-18T01:08:00.004-04:00

introducing......

VERONICA GRACE EYERMAN!!

we are so happy today! the court granted our petition for adoption. veronica is legally our daughter!

yesterday, we had to say goodbye to miss veronica. we made sure we did all her favorite things before we left. we walked the halls. we climbed the stairs. we played with balloons and crayons. we even brought bananas, apples and cookies for her to share with her group. when it was time to go, i brought her into the group room and started to cry. i didn't expect to, but it all came out. the caregivers told us that veronica would miss us, but they would tell her we were coming back. we thanked the caregivers for loving veronica and taking such good care of her. i gave veronica one last squeeze and a big kiss. i keep telling myself that i will see her again soon.

last night, we went out to dinner with all of our old friends and the new american families. our big send off :)

this morning i woke up at 5am. i couldn't sleep. i wasn't nervous that the judge would say no, but i was nervous. everyone says that court is no big deal, but how can you not be nervous when it is the future of your family being decided. i did my best to look wide and not pregnant. and we headed out around 8:30.

we got to court and sat around for a while. the couple we have been with the whole time went in first. about 20 minutes later, they were done. they were granted their child.

it was our turn. i went in first. i was careful to hold my folder right at my side, trying to hide my belly even more. luckily, keith sat to my right, so the prosecuter couldn't get a good look at my "wideness". keith read his speech first and then i followed. after we spoke, the prosecuter started asking questions. this is when i got nervous. was she going to give me a hard time about having children? would she know i was pregnant?

her first question was "what are you going to do after court?"
we all kind of sat there...our coordinator, translator and us. we didn't understand what she was asking. what are we doing for lunch? how are we preparing our kids? the coordinator asked for clarification on the question, which we didn't get. but, i finally answered.
we were going to go home, wait for the appeal period to end, and then keith would come back and pick veronica up.
then the prosecuter said, "don't you think it will have a negative effect on veronica to leave her for a few weeks?"
i wanted to say...well, this is your system, we don't have a choice. but, instead i answered that we hope we have given her enough love and attention that she will remember us during the weeks we are gone. and that when we see her again, we will give her a lot more love and attention. this seemed to be an ok answer.

the social worker and director of the orphanage both got up and talked on our behalf. the judge asked us to leave and within 60 seconds, we were back in the room. we stood there for the verdict. when he said he would grant our petition for adoption, i started to tear up. i was so happy!

what a feeling of relief. it's over. veronica is our daughter. now, we wait for the appeal process to end and her paperwork to be prepared. soon, we will have our family all together.

we are thanking god for all his many blessings today. he has been with us the entire time we have been here. he carried us the entire way and we are confident that he will continue to guide us until the end.

now we go home to our boys and our family and friends. we can't wait to see everyone!!

lots of love from ust!!

court tomorrow!

2010-03-17T11:51:00.002-04:00

once again, i am too tired to blog tonight. we have been busy packing and preparing for court.

please pray for us tomorrow. we go to court first thing in the morning. pray that the judge will grant our adoption and that veronica will officially become an eyerman!

day 23- good news

2010-03-16T05:08:00.005-04:00

this morning when we got down to breakfast, we got some good news. the last document we needed for court arrived! so our court date is definitely thursday. after that, we start to make our way home. we even booked and paid for our flight from ust to almaty on the 18th. yipeeeeeee!!

while it is no secret that i am SUPER excited to go home and see our boys and squeeze them until they absolutely make me let them go, i got a little sad today thinking about only having one more visit with our little miss veronica. i'm going to miss her a lot. but, i know that going home is one more step in the process to get her home to our family.

and, we still have the hurdle of court ahead of us.

today's visit was another fun one. veronica was silly with us again. she definitely has personality. she is going to fit right in with the boys. she was really excited again when she saw us. today she was wearing a little mickey mouse shirt. my family is big bunch of disney fans, so it made me excited to think of taking the whole gang to disney sometime.

today was really no different than every other visit. we can tell she enjoys being with us. we have a routine with her. she spent some time tackling keith and snuggling with him. it was sweet. i also spent some time rocking her and singing to her. today she tried to imitate my song and sing with me. we look in the mirror while we rock and sing, so she watches herself trying to make the same movements with her mouth.

we did have a little accident today. veronica was not wearing a diaper today (you can probably guess where this is going). she kept pulling on her stockings. i thought they were bothering her because they were clearly a little too big. i just kept pulling them up and fixing them. but, when i picked her up, she decided that she had had enough of trying to communicate to me that she needed to go to the bathroom and she wet her pants....all down the front of my shirt. i have officially been christened by her now :) when i brought her out to ask the caregiver for new clothes, i noticed that all the other children were on the potty. so, veronica had missed potty time. that is why she couldn't wait anymore. the kids are so scheduled and trained that they even know when they are supposed to go to the bathroom. it did give me hope for potty training her in the near future at home.

after we changed veronica, she made a big fuss about going back into the locker room. since it was only about five minutes until we had to bring her into her group anyway, we decided to let her out. but, as soon as we got into her group room, she started fussing. we realized that once again, she wanted to go for a walk, not go back to her group. unfortunately, we didn't have time. so, instead, we stayed with her in her group for a few minutes. all the kids are just so adorable. they love getting the littlest bit of individual attention. and their giggles are completely contagious. it was fun to spend some time with the other kids. veronica didn't like it though. she kept fussing. we talked to the caregiver a bit (with ksenia). the caregiver said that veronica always looks at the door to see if we are coming, and she will be really sad when we leave. this made me sad. i told the caregiver that we are going to leave veronica a picture book of our family and asked if they could keep reminding veronica that we love her and will be coming back for her soon. they said they would.

after our visit today, we went to another bizarre. we got some fruit and cookies for the kids in veronica's group tomorrow. we'll have a little party with them. tonight, we will go out to dinner with a new family that just arrived. we will probably go to one of our favorites, like the bbq.

it feels good to know we have a definite plan for the rest of our time here and a definite plan to come home. the countdown can begin :)

day 22- a happy little girl

2010-03-15T04:21:00.005-04:00

today we met some new families that just arrived to meet their children. gosh, i don't envy them. as exciting as the first couple days are, they are also emotionally draining and overwhelming. we have come to a point where we are completely comfortable with veronica, and i think she feels the same way. but, boy, those first few days are tough. it's nice to know we are nearing the end.

veronica was especially happy and silly today. she was in a really good mood. when we got there, all the children were on the potty. so, i think veronica got upset that she couldn't jump up and run to us. so, when she first got in the room, she was wiping away her tears. but, she cheered up really quickly. she was super smiley with us and was playing all sorts of games. she was even singing on her own to us.

keith blew up a balloon and put a little bit of water in it. this intrigued veronica for quite a while. she would smoosh her face right up against the balloon to see the water inside. then, she put the balloon under her dress and walked around with it. she looked a little like me :)

we only have two more visits with little veronica. i know she will not understand why we are leaving her. ksenia says that after parents leave, the children spend the next week or so watching the door to see if they are returning. it makes me sad to think that veronica may feel like we have left her for good. i know the caregivers will remind her that we will be seeing her again. but how much can a 20 month old really understand. we are going to leave some pictures and toys with her so she can remember us. i just feel sad that after all the progress we have made, and all the love and attention she has gotten used to, that she may feel lonely. but, i know that god will be with her and comfort her during the weeks that we are gone.

we got a picture of veronica with her favorite caregiver today. we also left a journal for all the caregivers to write veronica a message. i think these are going to be important things for veronica to have to represent the first two years of her life.

tonight, we went out to dinner with all of our friends here. it was out last big dinner together, because two of our friends will be headed home shortly. They decided not to go through with adopting the child they have been bonding with due to some medical concerns. it was a really hard decision for them. but, they are trusting god that this is the right decision. right now they are grieving, but they hope to come back sometime in the future to meet another child. this process isn't easy!

off to bed....we will see what tomorrow brings :)

day 21- three weeks in

2010-03-14T05:37:00.009-04:00

we have been away from home three weeks now. it is so exciting to think that this time next week we will be home. i am actually in good spirits today. maybe because i can see the finish line. even though court is not a sure thing yet on the 18th, i am choosing to believe it will happen. i am also choosing to think that court will go really smoothly and veronica will be our daughter on the 18th. and, even though the escort news wasn't the news we hoped for, i am choosing to be optimistic about it and trust that keith will be home for the arrival of baby #5. so, all in all, i am feeling ok about things. i know i only have god to thank for that.

this morning, we went to an eastern orthodox church service with two of the other families here. it was a very interesting experience. it's a beautiful church. i added a picture of it below. we didn't take any pictures inside, but it was just as beautiful. when you walk in, there is one big room with benches only along the wall. i would say about 90 percent of the people were women and the average age was about 70. everyone stands (except the really old women and pregnant me). the old ladies were actually even out lasting me on the standing. i was amazed with the amount of children who were there standing patiently and quietly as well. the women wore scarves on their heads. of course we couldn't understand anything because it was all in russian. but one of the families we went with attends an eastern orthodox church at home, so they told us what was going on throughout the service. it started with the priest behind a gate in a separate room. there was a lot of singing and chanting. we think they were reciting psalms. at this time, people went up for confession. at one point, the priest, i believe, came around with incense to bless the icons around the church. after about a half hour, the priest came out again from behind the gated room. there was a lot more singing and chanting. the people attending the service did a lot of blessing themselves and bowing. keith and i had to leave an hour into the service to go to the orphanage. it was interesting to see a church service that isn't anything like what we are used to.

i'm also including a picture of the mountains we see everyday. on a clear day, it is really beautiful!

at our visit with veronica today, we put her in a little kazakh costume we got her. it is really just a scarf with little coins on it. she had a lot of fun with it. when the caregivers came in and saw what she had on, they laughed. i'm hoping it was an approving laugh and not a "what do these crazy americans think they are dong" laugh. we did a lot of our usual activities.....balloons, coloring, playing with cups. we did a little dancing in her costume. it was a good visit. we are really trying to take advantage of the time with her since we only have a few visits left.

after our visit, we returned to the hotel because i was wearing the new boots i got here. i'm starting to fit in :) we walked to a new bakery for lunch. while we were walking there, we ran into the two other families walking in our direction. we could see there were people behind them, but it didn't seem strange. when we got close to them, we realized they were being escorted back to the hotel by the police. as we came up to them, the police stopped us as well.
"passports" was all they said. luckily, we have been carrying our passports with us the entire time. unfortunately, i have been carrying them under my shirt in a money pouch. so, there is pregnant me...unzipping my coat, trying discreetly to lift my shirt without drawing to much attention to myself, and getting our passports our of my pouch. awkward! the three men took a good look at our passports. i think they were checking out our visas to make sure the date was still ok. after a few minutes, they said we were ok to go. they also let our friends go because we said we were with them. like i have said before...it's always an adventure here.

we ended up eating at a new place and it was actually really good. i got a hot dog! a real american hot dog. it was so good!

after lunch we walked around a local bizarre. we want to go back and take pictures. it is really neat. almost like a farmers market at home, but much bigger. i bought some tights for miss veronica. they were super cheap and it was actually fun for me to pick our some girly stuff.

we had a meeting with our coordinator's assistant to prep us for court. she seemed to like us a lot. i wish she was the judge :) she said when she first read our dossier and learned about us, she was surprised by us and didn't really understand why we were doing what we are doing. in her 10 years doing this, she has never met a couple like us....young, we have biological children, and i'm pregnant. but, she said, as she got to know us (via our dossier) her heart was full of joy and admiration for us. she said she thought we were doing a great thing. and even though it will be hard at first with so many young children, she said that she knew veronica and the rest of our children will bless our lives. it was a great feeling for us to know that she completely supported what we are doing....considering she will be representing us in court.

she went over the questions we may be asked. we learned that the judge doesn't know, yet, that i am pregnant. so, the plan is for me to try to just look "wide" instead of pregnant. i said i would try. court should only take about 30 minutes. i am confident that keith and i have all the right answers, even if they do ask about me being pregnant. i am just nervous how i will do in the court setting. i imagine i am going to be pretty nervous. i'll be happy when it is over! (as long as the judge says a big YES!)

for dinner, we went back to the Chinese restaurant. no duck for us this time! it was super good. much better food than the first time. i think we made better choices.

the internet has been horrible these past few nights. we haven't been able to skype with the boys which is super frustrating for me. and we haven't been able to get on the blog. that's why i am a little behind. but, hopefully only a few more days and we will not need to skype anymore :)

day 20- a day of culture around ust

2010-03-14T04:54:00.005-04:00

sorry for the missed day in blogging. the internet wasn't working well, so we didn't do much on the computer.

yesterday was a full day for us. we were actually able to do a bit more than just sit around.

we brought yogurt for veronica today. she loved it. i'm sure she wasn't used to food that sweet. she stood by keith and took bite after bite until it was all gone. then she fussed because she wanted more. she had to settle for cheerios.

we went for a walk around the halls again....i know, exciting times :) the caregivers always make us put a sweater on her with either a hood or a hat. even though the halls are just as warm as the stuffy, over heated locker room. the thing veronica likes best is walking up and down the stairs. she holds no to the railing and takes her time. she seems very proud of herself holding her daddy's hand.

she was very mellow again yesterday. she listened to us very well.....you know, when she put her hand in the fish tank, stuck stickers or crayons in her mouth, or bopped me on the head with something. today, when we said nyet, she actually stopped. she also sat on ksenia's lap for a while, just relaxing and listening to her tunes. i think she missed ksenia, since she hasn't been with us as much lately. veronica really is such a sweet little girl. i can't wait to bring her home for everyone to meet her.

after our visit, we actually did some things around ust! finally! we went to two museums. they were pretty small, but interesting. they had a lot of kazakh artifacts and costumes. we also walked through the park in the center of town. it was very pretty with all the snow, but i imagine it is even more beautiful when the weather is warm. throughout the park, there are statues of characters from children's fairy tales. we had fun taking pictures of them and listening to ksenia tell us the stories. keith loved taking pictures with the statues as i am sure you can imagine. i kept thinking about how the boys would have enjoyed all of them.

i'm finally including a picture of us outside. i have my big furry hat on so you can laugh at me :) but, i have to say, it keeps me really warm.

last night we went bowling again and had another great dinner at the bowling alley. last night, we were named kif and rika. rika won the first game and kif won the second.

when we got back to the hotel, we talked to the boys on skype. our good friends kevin and carolyn are staying with them this weekend. they are so excited to make homemade ice cream and pizza. i have been hearing about it for about two weeks. i'm sure they had a great time.

it was actually nice to have a busy day here. it makes the time pass more quickly and more enjoyable. we are in the homestretch now!

day 19- 34 toothbrushes....

2010-03-12T09:01:00.005-05:00

...and counting. funny thing about our hotel. they give us each a brand new toothbrush everyday. we don't get new drinking glasses or new sheets. but, we get a new toothbrush in a box every single day. we are up to 34.

we heard back from the embassy regarding our request to use an escort. they are not going to make any exception in our case. they are requiring at least one of us to come back. so, it looks like we have no choice but for keith to travel back to get veronica.

of course we were discouraged by this news, but there is nothing we can do about it now. it is actually nice to have the answer so that i don't spend my energy worrying about it anymore. keith and i have decided that if it gets too close to the baby's due date, he will postpone his trip for a week or two and pick up miss veronica a bit later. it will stink to delay her homecoming, but we will cross that bridge when the time comes. no use worrying about it now.

once again, our visit with veronica was great. i feel a little bit like i am writing the same posts everyday and posting the same pictures (new fancy outfits). it's just nice to see how comfortable she is with us and how excited she is when we come. i picked her up and held her by the window to watch the snow falling today. she giggled and poked her finger at the window. then she found it more interesting to press her face up against the cold window. i bet the caregivers never let her do that before :) she also had a lot of fun with keith's mask today. she was even trying it on herself. i am actually surprised it took her this long to start pulling at it and playing with it. but, all the caregivers wear them, so i guess she is used to it.

on another note....some of you know that keith gets me a ring for each child. just a small stackable ring. we thought it would be special if we got the ring representing veronica here in kazakhstan. so, yesterday, when we were out shopping, we got my fourth ring.....

other than our visit with veronica, today seemed pretty long. we didn't have anything planned, so we were in the hotel room a lot today. it starts to feel like it's closing in on you. skype wasn't working well at all, so our conversation with the boys was cut short. other than that, nothing new to report. hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more exciting here in ust.

oh, today is my little sister katie's 21st birthday! happy birthday gooey!!

day 18- big news from home

2010-03-11T05:46:00.009-05:00

as keith and i were getting ready this morning, the rest of you were winding down your day at home. we got an unexpected skype call from home. this is unusual, because it was 9pm at home. all kids should be in bed and dean should be relaxing :) of course we answered right away...maybe something was wrong?!?!

nope! it was great news! tj lost his first tooth!!

it was so fun to see tj so excited. he has been waiting for this for a long time. he feels like such a big boy. he kept asking all of us (me, keith, dean and mike) if we were happy. i honestly couldn't have been happier to see his smiling face. i am so thankful for skype. he was able to show me his tooth just minutes after it came out. and, he got to put it under his pillow that night. (his plan was to save it for me to show me on skype before he left it for the tooth fairy.) so, tonight, we will see what the tooth fairy left him :)

things on this side of the world were not as exciting today. our visit with veronica was really nice, as usual. today when we got there, she saw us, looked at the caregiver, and said "papa". then, got up and ran right to us. i love it! i just makes me smile. keith and i look forward to her greeting every morning.

we did some more dancing with the iphone. she really likes music....just like the boys! today she was singing more along with the music. she kept repeating "papa...papa...papa". think she likes keith? :)

she also said another english word. ksenia was leaving the room and veronica yelled, ba ba (bye bye). so, now she says papa, mama, more, yummy, bye bye, hi, pop,and pow (when she bops me on the head). and this is all without trying to teach her.

veronica seemed really happy today. more than usual. she was content playing with all the toys that she usually gets bored with quickly at this point. maybe she didn't want to take her chances getting fussy after yesterday's short visit.

toward the end of the visit,after motioning to us to clean up (with her helping), she was grabbing on to keith's hand and leading him to the door. we figured she was ready to go back to her group. she knows when it is lunch time and usually wants to join her friends. so, since it was only ten minutes early, keith decided he would take her back in. well, it turns out she didn't want to go to her group, she wanted to go for a walk. as soon as she led keith out of the locker room, she started walking to the door of the playroom to go out. at that point it was too late to take her for a walk, so we told her she had to go with her group. she walked over, reluctantly. and as we waved goodbye and blew her kisses, she got a very sad look on her face, pointed at keith, and said "paaaapppppaaaaaa". it was really sweet but really sad at the same time. we can't wait until we don't have to leave her anymore.

see the bruise on her head from when she got bumped with the door. poor little lady...

after our visit, we did some shopping and went to eat at the cafe.

we got more frustrating news regarding paperwork. we had our flights booked from ust to almaty on the day we are to have court. but, our coordinator told us to hold off on paying for those flights. i guess court being on the 18th is not as set in stone as i thought. they are still waiting for a document to come from the capitol. i don't know what document, but i know they need it for court. i also know, they are unsure if they will get it in time. i feel like yelling at someone, who knows who, that i got literally hundreds of documents prepared for them, when they wanted them, in the way they wanted them. now i am only waiting for one and they can't promise it will get there in time. if court isn't on the 18th, then we fall into another holiday weekend, and keith an i don't make it back by tj's birthday. it is completely out of our hands. after some tears today and a period of anger, i am choosing to give it up to god. i just can't bear this worry anymore. god has a plan for all of this, and whether i agree with it or not, i know it is for the best. i know he loves all six of us eyermans, and he doesn't want us hurting. so, once again, i am going to trust him. i think i need to take a trip to the bakery :)

i also emailed the embassy regarding allowing us to use an escort, so we will see what they say.

thank you all for the encouraging words yesterday. i was really down. but it is really good to know that i have so many people who love us and are supporting and praying for us. i can't wait to have a big birthday party for veronica this summer and have you all over to thank you for all you have done for our family. we are so blessed by all of you!

day 17- the iphone is for eveyone

2010-03-10T06:23:00.003-05:00

today it is really overcast here. it is warmer, but it is still snowing. it's making for a big mess outside.

today, we were late getting to our visit with veronica. our coordinator had to go somewhere, so we didn't get picked up until almost an hour later than we usually go. this made our visit only 45 minutes. i was pretty annoyed considering visiting veronica is the highlight of my day.

when we arrived, all the children were on the potty again, so we didn't get to see veronica's reaction to us coming in. keith said that that is what he looks forward to each day....veronica jumping up and squealing with delight when she sees us.

since we didn't have a lot of time, we didn't change her clothes, so you will get a chance to see one of her super fashionable outfits :) we got right to the cheerios, of course. and veronica was very content playing with all of our usual toys. we didn't even get to everything.

we decided to let her listen to some music on keith's iphone. i don't know why we didn't think of this sooner. she LOVED it! she held the phone right up to her ear (it's amazing how kids know how to use cell phones. and she has never even seen keith use it as a phone!) she went around the room dancing with it and giggling. it was really cute. she was even singing along a little. i wonder if she will like "yo gabba gabba" and "hi-5" :)

when our visit was over, veronica was not happy. i am sure she could tell it was a lot shorter than usual. she was a little mad at us when we started to put the toys away. but, then she helped keith fold up the blankets on the floor. she is usually a big helper when it comes time to clean up her toys. i wonder if that will last at home. when i carried her out to her group, she started to whimper. so, i picked her up and gave her a big hug and some kisses. but when i put her down again she really started to cry. she didn't want us to leave. she sat on the floor and cried as we walked out. that was the first time she has been really sad that we left. it was hard to leave her like that, but i think it was another sign of progress with our bonding.

to be honest, i was in a funk today. not sure if it's the weather, or the fact that we didn't get a lot of time with veronica,or the fact that i am becoming increasingly uncomfortable and immobile by the minute, but i was in a pretty bad mood. i have tried to remain pretty upbeat and optimistic while being here, but this whole process has just worn me down. i feel like there is always something to be worried about. it this person doesn't get this paper done by this day, then court will be delayed. or, if this other person doesn't do their job just so, then everything will not fall into place. there is nothing we can do about anything. everything is out of our hands. i know there is no point in worrying about these things, but i do. and there seems to be something new every day. it's just draining. so, i hit a wall today and let myself be in a bad mood. it's going away now :) don't worry, keith never gets worried or in a bad mood, so it was time one of us did. i just am ready to come home.

by the way, keith is watching to office in russian right now. nothing can get that guy down!

i have been hesitant to post about this, because i didn't want to worry any other adoptive families and it is all such new information. but, keith and i decided that the more prayer we ask about this, the better. most of you know that we will return home without miss veronica. there is a 15 day waiting period and then a period of time to get paperwork and passports done. so, we go home and veronica will be ready to come home about 4-5 weeks later. keith and i planned to use an escort for the second trip. meaning that our coordinator would take veronica from kazakhstan to washington dc, where we would pick her up and bring her home. while we have been here, we have gotten news that the us embassy has changed their policies on escorts. because of all the problems with haiti and the orphans there, the us embassy is no longer allowing escorts. the problem for us, is that i can no longer travel after i get home (we are already pushing it). keith will have to travel back on his own. the trip is about a week long. but, the other catch is that my due date is at the EXACT time that keith would have to come back. this would mean there is a very strong chance that he would miss the birth of baby #5. this makes us both really sad. we are going to plead our case at the embassy after court. hopefully they will make an exception in our case. please pray that the embassy will consider our situation and make an exception for an escort. and if that is not possible, please pray that the timing would work in such a way that keith would not miss the birth of our baby. we will not know the outcome until the 19th. i will keep you updated.

thanks for all the continued encouragement, emails, comments and prayers. we get excited to see them every morning when we wake up.

alrighty, off to dinner. we'll see what tomorrow has in store for us.

Day 16- bonding period complete!

2010-03-09T10:01:00.004-05:00

today was our last day of bonding....hooray! this means that we can get all of our paperwork and preparations done for court. it doesn't mean our days here will be any different. we will still visit veronica every day. it is just a big step in getting this whole process done.

when we arrived at the orphanage today, they told us to get veronica and bring her downstairs to get her passport picture taken. how exciting! this was the first tangible thing that really means she will be coming home. of course i wanted to change her into a pretty outfit, so we took off her little orange dress and pink floral tights and put on her green outfit. we only have three to choose from. after all, i didn't know what size she would be. we brought her to the room where she was to get her picture taken and she immediately started to cry. i think there were too many new people around and she was overwhelmed. she pretty much jumped out of my arms and held her arms out for keith. i guess he could offer more protection. it did give us a glimpse as to what we will be up against when we get her home. she is going to be surrounded by people she doesn't know, new places, new foods, new smells. i'm sure it will be overwhelming. we will just have to keep reassuring her that we love her and will keep her safe. she would not turn from keith's shoulder to take the picture. the doctor took her from keith to try, but she started crying harder and wouldn't calm down. so they told our translator to go get her caregiver. in the meantime, i took veronica back and held her and sang to her and calmed her down (sad thing is, the only song that popped into my head was the elmo song....la la la la). she wasn't crying anymore, but she still did not want to go anywhere near the photographer and his scary camera. her caregiver came down (we could tell it is one of her favorites) and tried to get the picture taken. if you have ever had a passport photo taken, you know it has to be taken just right. you have to be faced a certain way, have your arms in just the right spot, etc. this was a challenge and the photographer didn't seem to have any patience or understanding of the situation. after about 10 minutes, we finally got a "good enough" picture.

we walked veronica back upstairs, back to our locker room, and she was back to normal. we gave her a banana to make up for the trauma she had just experienced. after a little while of playing, she was standing by the door and a caregiver swung open the door and bonked her right, square on the forehead. she went down hard. she only cried for a second, but it left quite the bruise. as a parent, i'm used to these situations and i didn't get upset. i just knew she wanted to be comforted. but the caregivers all got very upset. they kept checking on her, they wanted her to get checked out. they even put some buttery lotion all over her head. they called it soft lotion. veronica was not a big fan of the lotion. after a few minutes, veronica was back to normal. although, she did keep reminding us about her head every once and a while.

for the rest of the visit, we had a very tired little lady. i guess she had a rough morning. she laid on the big balloons we brought and rocked herself. and as soon as she heard the lunch bowls coming in the playroom, behind the closed door, she wanted to go get her lunch. we changed her back into her orange outfit and walked her out to her friends. so, day 14 of bonding was quite the day for miss veronica.

after our visit, our day was jam packed with getting things ready for court. we had to prepare 14 days worth of journaling to be translated, 14 days of pictures, a speech for court that has to be given by keith and i, an application for court and lots and lots of forms for the embassy when we leave to travel home.

when i was preparing the pictures, it was amazing to me the difference in little veronica. she looks so different and her whole demeanor is different too. we have seen a huge change in this sweet little girl. she has even gained weight since we have started (all the cheerios :) ) it is really amazing what a little love and attention can do. we are so happy that we can be a family for veronica. she has already been such a blessing to us. here is a picture from day one and a picture from the past couple days...

.

after all of our running around filling out documents, we had a chance to pray with the other three families that are here. one of the families is having a hard time trying to decide on what to do with their child. there may be severe medical conditions to consider in this one case, so they have to decide if they feel they can take on all that may come with the very sweet and adorable child. so, we gathered to pray for them as they try to figure out what to do. we prayed for the journey god has placed all of us on and for the children we have met. it's really encouraging to be surrounded by other believers. we have bonded with these families in a very special way, and we know god brought them into our lives for a very special purpose. please pray for our friends as they make this very difficult decision, that they may feel peace and comfort at this very emotional time.

we had a great skype time with the boys. i am getting really excited thinking of how we are getting so much closer to seeing them. tj's tooth is still loose :) andrew was excited to show us his football dean brought back from texas, and ryan just points makes some noises at the computer.

what an amazing day it will be when i have all of my kids together. maybe even baby #5 will make an appearance soon after we get home :)

day 15- happy women's day!

2010-03-09T01:28:00.005-05:00

last night i was so tired! i could barely think straight. i think things are finally catching up to me. i'm worn out. this is a very emotionally draining process. it's hard to be in an unfamiliar place. and, we have been walking....a lot! i think being 32 weeks pregnant is taking it's toll. i have slowed down a lot. so last night, i just crashed.

sunday night, our american friends and keith and i went to the georgian restaurant. this time, we were able to go in. what we thought would be a normal dinner out became a four hour experience! there was live entertainment and dancing. and they don't bring out the food while the music is going on. it was like a wedding. the food turned out to be very good, but by the time we got our main dish, i was ready for bed. we walked home again, which woke me up a bit. it's actually refreshing to go for a night time walk in the cold. who would have though i would EVER say that :)

yesterday was women's day (even though people have been celebrating since friday. people had off from work and children had off from school. so, it made for very crowded streets and restaurants. it was nice to see young people out and about. we hadn't seen many before today.

our visit with veronica didn't really bring anything notable or new. it's nice just to spend time with her. it will be nice when we can play with her in a more real life situation though. we walked the halls with her again. but, she seemed a little more bored by everything we were trying to do with her. she did play with the dog puppet we brought for her. she was snuggling with it and showing us how gentle she can be. at the end of our visit, we were told by the caregiver that veronica likes to bop people on the head since we have been coming....especially the caregivers. great! i'm sure that is a great reflection on us. they said that sometimes when children start bonding with their parents, their behavior changes. i guess we'll have to work on that with her. the funny thing is, when we had our meeting with the doctor on the first day, they made a point of telling us that veronica is ver gentle and tender and doesn't beat up the other kids. yeah, until these crazy american's come :)

we got a copy of veronica's schedule today. boy, is this going to change when she gets home...
700- wake up
815- breakfast
820- bathroom
900- lessons/games (they actually have music, art, kazakh lessons, speach and physical therapy)
1000- juice
1000-1130- a walk
1130- lunch
1200- nap for three hours
320- snack
340- quiet games
400-600- a walk
700- dinner
830-900- bed

today is a lot warmer (although not as warm as at home). it's in the 30s here now. the ice and snow is melting and making huge puddles and a big slushy mess. we saw strollers for the first time today. before today, we had only seen babies being pulled on sleds. the other day, we saw a baby about a year old, maybe younger, bundled up with lots of clothing and blankets, laying on a sled with blankets and a pillow, fast asleep. i wish i had my camera. it was one of the most precious things i had ever seen.

we went to our usual cafe for lunch today. i though i was ordering a steak and ended up ordering fish. i am not a big fan of fish. but, everything is an adventure here. we also walked over to one of the bizarres. it is like a huge open flea market. lots of produce and frozen, full size fish. a lot of clothing, bags and cheap accessories. nothing very authentically kazakh or russian. but then again, i'm sure they don't get a lot of tourists around here.

some more observations...

- they have stray dogs here. a lot of them. at first i was a little nervous to walk near them, but they are very calm. i feel bad for them in this cold weather.

- all the children's clothes have english words on them. and some have fake american characters, like imitation dora and smurfs.

- everyone smokes here. cigarettes are only about a dollar a pack, so it is everywhere.

- the steering wheels can be on either side of the car. some are on the right and some are on the left.

- electronics are twice as much money here. and everything on them is in english.

we are more than halfway through with our time here. our bonding period will end tomorrow and then we will begin to prepare for court. we are getting there!

too tired

2010-03-08T10:59:00.001-05:00

i am just too tired tonight to post anything. i'll journal about day 15 in the morning....promise! for now, here is a picture of our little lady.....

day 14- kis and beina go bowling

2010-03-07T01:21:00.007-05:00

last night, the american gang went bowling. it was a lot of fun and a great way to break up the monotany of the nights here. we had an interesting time trying to get the right size shoes and giving the lady our names to put up on the screen(remember, we don't speak any russian and the shoe sizes are different) . so, i became beina and keith became kis. we will forever have the knicknames bei and kis to our friends here :)

the bowling was exactly the same as home. except for the food we got. they actually serve a hot sit down meal right to your lane. and the food was really good. we got a chicken dish with onions and peppers and a stew type dish with potatoes, carrots and beef. it all tasted homemade. we might go back there just for the dinner!

as for the bowling, i didn't do to bad for a large pregnant gal! i only lost to kis by one pin on the first game and actually beat him on the second. to be honest, i pretty much crushed him :) i guess his herneated disk and bad leg or whatever it is he has didn't help his bowling much.

our days here are beginning to feel like groundhog day (the movie). wake up, get ready, big breakfast, go to orphanage, town for lunch, back for naps or blogging or movies, skype, dinner, bed. there you have it!

our visit with veronica went well. everyday we see some sign of improvement. she is really comfortable around us now. and, i think she even likes us :) she was excited again today when we got there. she jumped up and ran over to me. she pointed that she wanted to go in the locker room (i think she wanted her cheerios). we brought a banana again today, so i think it made her day. the caregivers asked us to stop giving her juice because it wasn't agreeing with her stomach. i guess she had never had that kind of juice before so her body wasn't used to it. i have a feeling we are in for some trouble when we introduce her to all the new foods she will have at home. we will have to start off slow and bland. so instead of juice, we gave her water. she was fine with the change. although, halfway through drinking it (she was sitting in my lap), the entire cup of water somehow ended up all over the front of my shirt. ahhhh, motherhood. at least it wasn't the juice.

veronica wanted to be held again for a little bit today. i think she likes being rocked and sung to. it made me sad to think that all the kids here don't get a chance to be comforted in that way. veronica actually feel asleep for about 15 minutes on my shoulder. it made me wonder if that was the first time she had ever been rocked to sleep. i was so glad i could show her love in this way.

she woke up and it was as if she had never been asleep (except for the crease marks on her cheek). she jumped off my lap and got right back to playing and giggling. today, she was enjoying keith throwing her up in the air like he does with the boys. she would giggle and giggle. then she would put her arms up in the air for more.

she has also begun to imitate some words we say. she repeats yummy, papa, pop, and bang. she is also figuring out ways to communicate with us even though she can't understand us. she points and makes little sounds to let us know what she wants. today i was teaching her nose, eyes, ears and mouth. i know she knows them in russian. if ksenia asks where her nose is etc., she can point to it. but, now she is doing it in english too! i can't believe how quickly little children can pick up language. i imagine it will not take her very long to understand english once she gets home with her brothers. tj will be all over the idea of teaching her!

every day we are here, keith and i learn something new (sometimes strange) about being here in kazakhstan. so we wanted to share some random observations we have made...

- the air is REALLY dry! so dry that when i put lotion on, it soaks into my skin before i have a change to rub it in. it took a while for my eyes, nose and throat to get used to the air.

- all the women here are super fashionable and super beautiful. they all wear high healed boots, and i mean high! i couldn't figure out how in the world they don't fall on the ice. ksenia explained that the heals almost work as ice picks to help them from falling. i think i'll pass on that one and stick to my llbean boots.

- there is ice everywhere! layers on top of layers on top of layers. the "snow plowing" is really inefficient here, so the ice just keeps getting packed down. it's on the sidewalks and the roads. they have crews of men that shovel the streets and sometimes the sidewalks, but there is no way they can keep up. keith and i joke about the fines we would get from red bank if we left the sidewalks in this condition.

- the people drive crazy here. we are constantly fishtailing on the ice. people drive super fast and then stop suddenly. they drive really close to other cars. but there doesn't seem to be any car accidents. we have only seen one bus that had gotten stuck in a snow pile. but besides that nothing. i don't understand. everytime i get in the car i slightly fear for my life.

- the heat here is regulated by the government. so, while it is negative such and such outside, it is 87 degrees in our hotel room. i know this because we have a thermometer on our travel alarm clock.

- people don't seem to use dryers here to do laundry. they hang all of their clothes outside in the freezing cold temperatures. i'm not really sure how that works. i don't know how the wet clothes dry and not freeze.

- people don't tip at restaurants here. we still tip a little because we feel so badly not doing it. especially since the checks are usually very small. the restaurants must love when americans come in to eat.

- when people answer the phone here, they say "hello". but when the great each other in person, they do it in russian.

- the restaurants cut the paper napkins in half. we aren't sure if they are trying to save money on napkins or just think a full size napkin is wasting. but everywhere you go, the napkins are cut in half.

ok, we are off to dinner now. i am sure another adventure awaits us. today marks two weeks down. and two weeks from today, we will be home snuggling with the boys. i can't wait to see them!

day 13- hooray for 15 years and new flashdrives!

2010-03-06T05:49:00.007-05:00

15 years ago today, keith and i started dating. who would have thought that all these years later, we would be in kazakhstan adopting the most precious little russian girl in the world. i sure wouldn't have! god sure has taken us on quite a journey throughout our years together. i feel so blessed in so many ways. many of you have been with us since day one of our relationship and we are so grateful for that. wow, 15 years. sometimes it's hard to believe.

we got a new flashdrive today!! woohoo!! so, after our little update of the days events, prepare yourselves for lots of pictures. i have to make up for all the lost time :)

at this point, the visits to the orphanage are pretty much the same everyday. same small room, same toys, same routine. it's hard to get a feel for what real life is going to be like with veronica. she has been really happy with us. she likes all the attention we give her. but, i think she's getting bored of the room and same old thing day after day. so, we are going to have to try to figure out ways to mix it up a little. recently, her favorite things to do are put things near her mouth that she knows shouldn't be in her mouth, like stickers and paper. she likes the reaction she gets. we say no, she laughs. her other favorite thing is to bang anything and everything. i sometimes call her "bamm bamm". she will pick up a rattle, a crayon, a box, whatever she can find and bang it on the ground, the bench, her doll, and sometimes us. although she gets a firm "nyet" when she hits us.

today, we got to see how they potty train the kids in her group. it really is amazing how disciplined they are. veronica's group goes from age 1 to 2, i believe. can you believe they are all potty training? they told us that veronica is trained! one less thing for me to do when we get home :) they have a line of little toilets. each child has their own number. every few hours, they take all the kids and sit them down on the toilets for a while. if something happens, great. if not, they wait until the next time. when we came in this morning, they were all sitting on their little potties, most of them with their thumbs in their mouths, just waiting to be told they could get up. amazing! when they are done, they go over to the little sink and wash their hands.

toward the end of our visit today, veronica wanted me to pick her up. she started singing a little song to me. so, i started singing back. she put her head on my shoulder and grabbed on to my arms with her hands. for about 20 minutes, i rocked her and sang little songs to her. she kept her head on my shoulder and occasionally her eyes would get heavy. i don't think she was tired. i just don't think anyone had taken the time to be that comforting with her. it was a nice bonding moment for the two of us.

this weekend, they are celebrating "women's day" here. it is a really big celebration...as it should be! they have been celebrating since yesterday and will continue until monday. we brought gifts from home for the caregivers, the director of the orphanage and the doctor. usually, you give the gifts at the end of the trip as a thank you for taking care of the child. but, our coordinator thought it would be nice to give the gifts on women's day. we gave them "i love ny" t-shirts and lotions and body washes from home. remember all that beef jerky keith brought that he though he was going to need. well, he hasn't touched it. so, into the gift bags they went. wouldn't you know, that was the highlight of the gifts.....the beef jerky. everyone was so intrigued by it. it is definitely something they don't have here. they wanted to know what to eat it with, beer? and is it salty or sweet? so, that is how we will leave or mark in kazakhstan. we are the people who introduced them to beef jerky....great!

we have been spending a lot of time with the other families here, which has been great. last night we decided to try the gorgian restaurant in town. so, we got a taxi (which is only $2 no matter where you go) and headed out. we got to the restaurant and the host immediately came to us and crossed his arms into an x and said "nyet". we all looked a bit confused. turns out we had to have reservations because of women's day. so, we asked him if he could call us a taxi. he shook his head, but motioned that we had to wait outside. after a few minutes, he came out and said the taxi was going to take 30 minutes! he told (or rather motioned to us) that we would be better off hailing a cab from the street. the street that is extremely quiet, that we had only seen a few cars on. hmmmmm. so, we decided just to walk back to the hotel. it was about 7:30 and less than 10 degrees. i didn't have on my long johns or warm hat....foolish! but, we made it back in one piece. so, in the end, we celebrated women's day by paying for a taxi to take us to a restaurant we didn't eat at, half hour hike back to the hotel in the cold, and eating at the overpriced restaurant in the hotel.....perfect :) it seems like it is non-stop adventures here.

ok, now for what you really want....pictures of our pretty girl.....

day 12- god is in the big and small things

2010-03-05T05:32:00.004-05:00

today was a good day! i have seen god working in all the big things and the small things throughout this process.

our visit with veronica started with an even more excited little girl than yesterday! today, she jumped up and couldn't run to us fast enough. even the caregiver laughed.

we were playing as usual in our locker room (which seems to be getting smaller and smaller by the day). the social worker came in to see how we were doing. veronica got a frightened look on her face and ran to keith for protection. keith picked her up and held her and hugged her. she held on tight to him and wouldn't turn around to look at the social worker. turns out, she was afraid the social worker was going to take her away from us. the fact that she ran to keith, and not the caregiver that was also in the room, or ksenia, was huge in my opinion. i feel like she is really beginning to trust us and feel comfortable with us. the social worker wasn't offended and even said that was a really good sign. i'm glad, because she is going to be defending us in court :)

we got two pieces of good news today that were answered prayers. first, it looks like we will be going to court on the 18th. this means we can start our trek home on the 19th, after a stop at the embassy in almaty. and what that means, is that we will be home for tj's 6th birthday!! praise god....he answers prayer!

second, we had some concern about veronica's biological family appealing the adoption. i am not going to get into details about it, but it was a real concern and i was very nervous about it. today, we found out that her family will not appeal the adoption and is going to sign a paper stating so. huge prayer answered!! god works in all the big details.

what else made today a good day? i found out the hotel had hot pots to boil water in. now i can make my own coffee (american, non-instant coffee) in my room. i can also make all the oatmeal, hot chocolate and tea i brought. god works in the small details too :)

we also may have found a solution to our camera problem. we are certain that our flash drive has died (for some unknown reason). but, we now have a cord that may work for uploading pictures. if not, we will have to search ust for a new flash drive. may be a tricky task. but, we should know by tonight. so we may have lots of pictures to share later on.

for lunch today we met up with all the american families at the bakery....so good! i am so thankful to have other people to go through this with. it's funny how fast you become friends when you are in such and intense and emotional situation.

the big news from back home is that tj has a loose tooth!! he is so excited. he has wanted a loose tooth for so long. i hope it stays in for another two weeks so i can be there when it falls out. the boys seem to be healthy again. but, i guess i will find out more tonight when we have our skype date.

alright, that's it for today. hopefully tomorrow will bring more good news and lots of pictures!

New Veronica Video!

2010-03-04T22:10:00.002-05:00

Hello all! Although this is Matt posting on Rayna's blog, here is a new video of Veronica!

Enjoy!

day 11- a warm welcome

2010-03-04T05:51:00.005-05:00

this morning at breakfast, one of the other couples who is in the precess of adopting a little boy from the same group as veronica said to us, "veronica is like a completely different child! she is so happy. what did you do to her?" what a reassuring feeling to hear it from an outside perspective! you see, in the beginning of our bonding period, veronica didn't only cry when we walked in the playroom, she would cry when the other family walked in too. she wouldn't go near them and would run to the caregivers for protection. but now, she smiles at the other family when they come in and even plays with them a little before their visit starts. progress!

today, veronica gave me a little gift. when we walked in her group room, she was sitting on the floor with all the other kids and a caregiver. when she spotted us, she smiled, looked at the caregiver for permission to get up, and then ran to me with her arms open. i scooped her up and she gave me hug. what a warm welcome. she was actually happy and excited to see us and go into our locker room. huge progress!

even though our translator was with us today, i was much more relaxed. i think it just took a day alone to get my mommy confidence back. veronica didn't seem interested in the fishtank today....phew! she enjoyed eating the crayons again. why do all kids like eating crayons? i think veronica does it more for my reaction though. sometimes, she reminds me so much of ryan it makes me laugh. i guess since they are so close in age, this is going to happen a lot. but they both do the same silly things. they love to get a little rise out of me. they both love to test the limits. they are going to be great friends....or partners in crime. i'm not sure which.

i can tell veronica has become more comfortable with me because she gets mad at me now. it is really funny. keith has these bubble things that are made out of some sort of glue. so when he blows a bubble, it stays around for a while until it gets popped. it's not as strong as a balloon, so it's pretty easy to pop. but it is strong enough that you can play with it and toss it around softly. anyway, veronica loves these (just as the boys do). when they pop, she likes to crumble the broken bubble into a little pebble size ball. what she has recently enjoyed doing at this point is putting it near her mouth to get a reaction out of me.

"nyet, nyet"......giggle, giggle....."nyet, nyet"....giggle, giggle.

well, a couple times, she has actually put it in her mouth and i have had to take it away from her. this is when she gets angry. she turns her back to me with a little stomp. and, with a pouty look on her face and sits down on the spot. it only takes her about 30 seconds to get over it, but she did this a few times. i see it as a good sign :)

after our visit we spent some time talking with another american couple. it's nice to have the support of people going through the same things as you at the same time. we are really enjoying getting to know the people here.

our flashdrive is still broken. i am really bummed about it. we are going to try to find another one around here somewhere. i wish i could show you pictures of how veronica is changing. hopefully tomorrow.....

day 10- crayons and notaries

2010-03-03T06:51:00.007-05:00

we have figured out the problem with our flash drive. unfortunately, it can't be fixed until tomorrow morning. so, no new pictures from today's visit either. here is a few from a couple days ago to hold you over....

we feel like we are making progress with veronica every day. today went really well. when we arrived this morning, veronica looked up and saw us, and there were no tears! there was even a little smile on her face! she came right to me when the caregiver handed her over and happily went into our locker room.

we didn't have ksenia (our translator) with us today because she had work to do with another family. so, it was only keith and i in the room with veronica. i think this actually made a big difference with how we were interacting with her and how she was interacting with us. for us, it was much more natural. we could play with veronica a little more freely with our guards down. ksenia is so sweet and i know she isn't judging out parenting skills by any means. but, at the same time, we always have someone in the room watching us. so, even though i wasn't doing it intentionally, i think i was always trying to be "on". today had a much more relaxed feeling. i think it also helped that i was the only woman in the room for veronica. she definitely was much more willing to play with me today. there was no confusion who mamma is.

each visit is a lot of the same at this point. we have the same toys, same snacks, and she seems to have fallen into a routine with us. first, she wants her snack. of course :) today we tried an apple. i cut it into really tiny bite size pieces. but, she had a lot of trouble chewing it. she tried for a few bites. but, then i noticed she was choking a bit. she had chewed or sucked all the juice out of the pieces in her mouth, but couldn't figure out how to eat the rest. we are thinking it was the first apple she has had. we aren't sure if she is used to chewing that solid a food. she was very good about giving me what was in her mouth though. i thought she would store it in there and not let go. she seems to really protect whatever food we give her. but, she spit it out into my hand when i asked (a true passage of parenthood) and we stuck with just cheerios and juice for the rest of the visit.

she likes to play with the stickers we brought. she will sit there for a while asking us to take them off the sheet for her. then she puts them either on another piece of paper or my hands. her fine motor skills are really good. she can hold very tiny stickers in her fingers and turn them around and stick them on things.

today, we brought out the crayons and coloring book. i was holding off on this because i thought she might be too young to be interested. i was wrong! she sat right down with me and started coloring on the mickey mouse coloring book. after a little bit of that, she preferred to put the crayons in her mouth and get a "nyet, nyet" from me. she thought that was just too funny. she also liked putting the crayons in the box, then out of the box, in the box, out of the box. seemed like a silly game, but again, her fine motor skills looked great.

there is a tiny fish tank in the locker room with us. it has mini fish in it and sits on a low table. it has a piece of glass on top. veronica discovered the fish tank today. her hands went in it a lot, as did the crayons and the piece of glass covering the top. i was sure we were going to kill the fish. again, she got a firm "nyet, nyet" from me. but at this point, it is still funny to her.

as we left our visit today, we brought veronica back into her playroom where all the other children were sitting at their tables waiting to be served lunch. they are all so sweet looking. and, they always have such interest in us. we have a little buddy who always seems super excited to see us and gives us a big smile and waves with both hands. i pray all of these children will find families.

this afternoon, we had to go to the notary to get power of attorney papers signed so galina can do paperwork for veronica after we leave. i thought it was going to be a quick visit with a few signatures. gosh, i'm used to our notary at home making house visits (thanks, lily :) ) but, this was an ordeal. they checked our passport a million times to make sure we were the same people in the pictures. they looked over each word on the documents several times. we signed a lot of papers! we were there for about two hours. they did ask us what name we were going to give veronica. so, it was really neat to see the name veronica grace eyerman on official documents. i know that isn't her name yet, and these documents will only become effective after court. but, it was still really cool to see.

the rest of the day consisted of hanging around the hotel and going to dinner at the bar downstairs (complete with live, very loud, russian singing). i talked to the boys on skype as usual. tj is still sick and now andrew is too. it makes it so much harder to be away from them. i miss them so much! it just hurts my heart. it's a feeling i just can't put into words. this is the hardest thing i have ever had to do as a mom. tj told me that he had a dream last night that i didn't have to sleep in kazakhstan anymore and i could come home and sleep again. and andrew told me he wanted me to come home and play with him. when i blew them kisses, andrew grabbed his in his hands. tj opened his mouth and "ate" his kiss. he told me it was so it could be closer to his heart and he could feel more love in his heart. i just can't wait until our family is all back together again. i can't wait to give them real kisses and hugs. here's a picture of the boys too....mostly for me to look at :)

i know i say this a lot, but i am so thankful god has put me in the community i am in. i know that the boys are being loved and cared for by the best people in the world. and i know they are experiencing god's love through all the people surrounding them.

ok, i'm off to bed....

day 9- one week of bonding down

2010-03-02T05:18:00.006-05:00

today was the 7th day of bonding. that means that half our bonding time is over! not that i am not enjoying our time with veronica, but i'm glad things are moving along. we now have a week more of bonding, then we can apply for court. one step at a time.

well, i wasn't kidding when i said veronica is daddy's little girl. they say it is typical that a child bonds more closely with one parent over another. in this case it is definitely keith! i guess it's only fair since two out of three (maybe even all three) of the boys seem to be momma's boys.

veronica is really drawn to keith. she prefers to play with him and have him feed her. she sits right in his lap and relaxes. not so much for me. she prefers to bonk me on the head with her toys or push my face away if i get to close. oh, well. in time, things will change.

the doctor came into the locker room during our visiting time to say hello. of course, veronica ran right up to her for some hugs. which the doctor was happy to do. then veronica turned around, pointed to keith, and said "pappa". she was showing the doctor who her pappa was. it was so cute.

nothing really different in our visit today. we got to walk the halls a bit. veronica still loves the mirror. we changed her again today. actually, she found the clothes in our backpack and took them out. she wanted to put them on. she has gotten excited about the clothes we bring her. i don't know if that is because she knows that they are just for her opposed to having community clothes. or if having an interest in clothes is a girl thing. if it's the second, i'm in big trouble!

another thing we have noticed is that the children here are very patient. i guess they have to be. the first couple of days we were here, they took veronica's temperature in front of us. they put the thermometer under her arm and had her hold her arm across her chest. she sat there for about 3 or 4 minutes. no moving around, no complaining. just waiting. and, when i change her clothes, she just stands there and lets me. her shoes too. she just sits on my lap and lets me buckle her shoes. i feel like dressing ryan is like a wrestling match every day :)

unfortunately, i think our flash drive thing to get our pictures off the camera is not working. we are going to try to get it fixed or get a new one quickly (hopefully by tonight). but in the meantime, no pictures from today's visit :(

after our visit, our driver dropped us off in town for lunch. we went back to the internet cafe. yes, they are going to think we are crazy. but, they have salad there...green salad! i never thought i would want a salad so badly. but, until yesterday, i hadn't seen any lettuce or fresh vegetables. so, we were dying to go back for that.

we found out just how cold negative three degrees is to walk around in. the walk back to the hotel is about 15 or 20 minutes. it was the first time i was uncomfortably cold. the inside of my nose was frozen again. and my eyes were tearing because of the brightness of all the white snow. but my tears were freezing at the corners of my eyes. it was crazy. it was a bit windy too, so i am sure that made it feel a lot worse.

tonight, we are going to try the Chinese restaurant for dinner. i'm thinking it is going to be a lot different than the "panda house" at home. we will see. there is another american family here, so that makes four of us. i think we are all going to go together.

since i don't have pictures of our sweet girl today, i thought i would show you some of our hotel. welcome to the shiny river!

day 8- daddy's little girl

2010-03-01T06:09:00.009-05:00

i think we may have a daddy's little girl on our hands.

it could be that keith is the one who gives her the banana every day. it could be that he is the first man to give her attention. it could be that he is the only "papa" she knows. (whereas she has many, many mammas that love her) but, i think it's because keith is so good with her. he makes her laugh and smile. he plays silly games with her. he holds her and gives her hugs. don't get me wrong, i think the banana helps :) but, it seems like veronica is really getting attached to keith. it is really special to watch. she says papa and looks right at keith.

i get some of her attention too. she is very silly with me. she likes to take a princess wand we got for her and bop me on the head with it. that's bonding, right? :) she also likes to grab at my glasses. i was tempted to wear my contacts today, but with the mask, i am afraid she wouldn't know who i was if i didn't wear them! so, we will continue with her thinking it is hilarious to grab my glasses off my face...much like ryan.

we changed her clothes today. they said it was good for court to see her in new clothes. unfortunately, the clothes we brought were a bit too big for our tiny lady. but, we managed ok.

today's visit was a lot of the same. same toys, same snacks, same fun giggles. she was a little tired today though, so toward the end, i think she was done with us. the other children in her group went to the gym, so we were able to get into the playroom, bedroom and bathroom and take some pictures.

and, here are some pictures outside.

as far as venturing around town. keith and i went to lunch at the internet cafe. we were told that lots of americans liked it becuase it has pasta. oh my....we did like it! the food was so good. it was just like eating at home....just a lot cheaper. we will definitely be returning. maybe even tonight :) then we went to the bakery next door. i was in heaven! i'm going to have to go back with my camera so you can get an idea. i splurged, and got a giant chocolate pastry for 60 cents. i was so happy. it was actually the perfect remedy for feeling homesick.

thank you for all your continued prayers and support. we know that this journey is making us stronger and building our trust in god. it really is an experience of a lifetime!

day 7- all grins and giggles

2010-02-28T03:48:00.010-05:00

today's visit with veronica was really enjoyable. i feel like we are making progress everyday with her. when we walked in to her group's room, she looked up at us, and ran to the caregiver with tears in her eyes. we expected this. it's a bit of a joke to us know. before we open the door, we say....get ready for the crying. we walked right into the locker room and got set up....shoes off, masks on, blanket on the floor, toys on the blanket, juice, banana and cheerios ready. by the time the caregiver brought veronica in, she had stopped crying. there were no tears and no blotchy red face. she put veronica down on the floor and i picked her up for a big hug. just to reassure her that we were there for her. and, that is all it took. she saw the toys and got right to it.

after a few minutes she spotted the cheerios. she started motioning to them and looking at us. her eyes said it all.....pleeeeaaase can i have some? we gave her a handful. it is amazing how fast she can put them in her mouth. we have to give her only three or four at a time, because she shoves them all in her mouth before she starts to chew. and as soon as they are gone, she wants more. we could see she was hungry. she wanted more than she did yesterday. maybe because she knows we will give her food. so, we gave her the banana. another success. after she ate the entire banana and drank some juice, she was ready to get to playing. we did a lot of the same things as yesterday, but there was a lot more interaction with her and us.

because she is feeling a bit better, the doctor said we could take her for a walk in the hallway. so, we put on her jacket and shoes and wandered the lovely smelling halls. we stopped to look at some fish that were in a tank in the hall, and a bird on another floor. but the thing she was most interested in was a self standing, full length mirror. i don't think she has ever really seen herself in a mirror. she thought this was great. she was pointing at herself, giving herself kisses, trying to figure out how the mirror worked by looking behind it. it was so fun to see her discover something new. she was smiling at herself and laughing. saying some words...in russian of course. we went back up to the room. she walked right past the caregivers and her friends and went into our playroom. it is things like this that make me think we are making progress with her and that she is feeling more and more comfortable with us. when we got back into the room, it was non-stop laughing and smiling with her. here is a little video so you can hear her sweet giggle. i hope it works.

and, as usual, here are a few pictures from our visit.

we have gotten some questions about veronica's name. veronica is her given name. we came into this waiting to see what her name was. if it was a name that couldn't easily be "americanized", we were going to make it her middle name and give her a new first name. but, after hearing the name veronica, and seeing what a big part of her it is, we decided to keep her name. so, her full name will be veronica grace eyerman.

tonight, we went to a restaurant called "bar b q" for dinner with the other american families here. it was actually very good and tasted just like home.

i just finished skyping with the boys, dean and "uncle" mike. tj has the stomach bug. i feel terrible and it makes me just want to go home. it's such a helpless feeling when your kids are sick. being halfway around the world makes it a million times worse. i just want to be there and hug him. please pray that he gets better soon and that the other boys don't get sick. i'm really missing them right now.

day 6- all it takes is a banana

2010-02-27T06:08:00.012-05:00

what a difference a day makes!

the day started with our usual routine. down to the dinning room at 8:30 for breakfast. today i took a picture of what our breakfast is like ......

then, off to the orphanage. as soon as we walk in, we are once again welcomed by the distinct odor. it is something i will never get used to. i wish i could describe it to you. it doesn't smell like vomit or like a sewer smell. it is definitely from the food they are preparing. all i can say is that it is so strong, and so bad that it makes us gag every time we walk through the door. and my pregnant super nose probably makes it worse. we walk up to the third floor to veronica's room. we walk in, bracing ourselves for more crying. and it does. veronica sees us and immediately runs to the caregiver for a hug and protection. the rest of the ten kids or so run over to the bookcase that keeps them in the playarea and peek above it at us. smiling, waving, wanting attention. they are all so curious about us. especially one little boy who always waves vigorously at us and tries to inch closer and closer to us until one of the caregivers pushes him back. i wish we could play with all of them. i wish we could give them all hugs and individual attention. i was glad to hear that three of them were already adopted and waiting for their parents to return to pick them up. most of the others were not available yet for adoption.

the caregiver who was comforting veronica picks her up and brings her into the locker room where we are waiting with our masks on and our toys spread out on the blanket on the floor. today, the caregiver sat down in the locker room with us for a few minutes. she comforted veronica and reassured her that everything was ok. that we were there because we loved her. it is obvious how much the caregivers love these children. they have a very difficult job, and they are firm with the children, but they care for them so much. veronica seemed to calm down quickly. the caregiver put veronica down to leave and she started crying again, so i swooped her up and hugged her myself. and, what do you know, she stopped crying and let me hold her. she was still sad though. so we decided for to try a quick snack. first, keith tried some cheerios. he put some in his hand and she walked over to him and ate them all up....putting each one in her mouth as fast as she could.

that made her happy for a minute, but we saw that the tears were going to come quickly. so, we brought out a banana we brought. it's amazing how much a banana can make a difference. she sat on keith's lap while i fed her. she was so content and ate the entire thing. we followed it up with some juice, and i think she fell in love with us :)

from then on, it was all playing and smiles. we played with balls, balloons, stickers, cups. she wanted to do everything. she played with both keith and i. she didn't hesitate at all. we even got some giggles out of her. she even called keith "pappa" a few times. it was so much fun. when it was lunch time, and time for us to go, she gave us both a hug goodbye. we felt like we made huge progress today!

i know that's a lot of pictures, but i just can't help myself. she is just too cute and i can't get enough of her. oh, and notice the "bright colors" that keith and i are wearing :).

as we were leaving the orphanage, we noticed todays lunch. a piece of bread, a much thicker soup and a mug of juice.

when we got back to the hotel, keith and i decided to venture into town ourselves. it's a bit warmer, so we bundled up and headed out. the worst part of walking around is that it is so icy. the sidewalks are not cleared, it is just a sheet of ice. so, i almost took a spill a few times. but, we managed to make it to the turkish cafe where we had chicken kabobs.

we headed to the foodstore to get more juice and bananas. this seemed to do the trick today, so we are going to stick with it!

we hung out for the rest of the afternoon, met up with jennifer and michael for dinner (although we only got coffee and soda), had a great skype date with the boys and dean, and soon we will go to bed.

i want to thank you all for your encouraging comments yesterday! they really made a world of difference. although i knew in my head that all the crying was a good sign, it was also discouraging and draining. and, as much as i love being here and being with veronica, it's not easy. all of your thoughts and prayers are really helpful. so, thank you!!